No Ordinary Girl
by OhSnapItsMari
Summary: I've never really expected to fall in love. I was never perfect. I didn't live the life that you'd see in all these love stories. I didn't think I had a chance. Ever. That all changed, of course, when I randomly bumped into someone on the street. Dan. Sure, I kinda hated him at first. and I was awkward. That's not the point. The point is, I got the love story I'd always dreamed of.
1. Chapter 1: Love

_**So, you guys may notice that this is not the same as the previous story. Well, and that the previous story is gone. Okay, well let me explain. I went through it and looked at all the inconsistencies and decided that I needed to fix it. I'm bringing out a lot more of the damaging things that she mentions. How she doesn't like to eat and all that stuff. She literally said in the other one that she doesn't eat, then in the next chapter she pointed out that she eats so much. Like, no. So, me being the OCD person I am, decided I needed to fix it. I also changed the cover because I wanted to. I changed quite a bit. It's going to be basically a whole different story. Sorry if you liked the other one. Maybe you'll like this one more?**_

Love is a peculiar thing. You can swear it off, promise to never to love a single person, but somehow it will manage to find you. Whether temporary or permanent, it will find you. You can love yourself, an animal, another person. It doesn't matter. You will love, one way or another.

You read all these love stories with their wonderful 'Happily Ever After' bullshit themes going on. Trust me. It may not be all you expect. You want the happily ever after, but love doesn't come without conflict. I've had it explained many-a-time. My mother told me that when she was with my dad that she didn't always love him, but she stayed with him because that's what love is. It's a promise. She promised him forever when they got married. Now, he didn't exactly follow that, but that story comes later. For now, we speak of this weird thing called 'love'.

Now, personally I never really thought I would be in love with anyone. Far too awkward for that, honestly. I didn't really have an interest in it either. Then again I was only 18, and 18 is quite young to be thinking about love. For me, love led to marriage, and marriage led to babies, and you basically got to lead a totally average life with no fun other than what you did with your babies and husband and you live in your perfect home leading perfect lives. I wasn't ready for any of that. In fact, I wanted the opposite. Sure, I was in pursuit of the 'perfect' body and the 'perfect' state-of-mind, but what 18 year old girl isn't? I was typical. I didn't think I was all that ordinary, but I look back now and see that I was ordinary, and in my opinion, I always will be.

But, love. I managed to land the perfect man. Don't ask me how I did it. I will never know how I got to be so lucky to land someone as wonderful as Dan. Daniel James Howell. To him, I'm no ordinary girl. How? I don't know. I've asked him hundreds of times to explain. Will he? Of course not. I'm beginning to believe he has no reason for it.

I never really expected to fall in love with Dan the way I did. It took a matter of 2 days for me to actually love him. It took me a 2 after that to tell him. Sometimes I think God likes to sit up in heaven and watch how awkwardly I do things, too. Telling him was… not very… smooth. I stuttered a lot for that one. But it was one of the best feelings getting it off my chest. Even better was when he said it back.

I didn't even want to love him. I was afraid of being hurt. Since my father left when I was young, I had issues with men. I was afraid all men would just leave no matter what you do and no matter how much you need them. My mum needed my dad. NEEDED HIM. But he didn't care and left. I got my commitment issues from that. I didn't want to go through what I saw my mum go through.

Oh, I didn't even introduce myself. Well, hey, my name's Bianca Celeste Howell. It's a pleasure to be telling you how I feel about love and a little bit of my love story. Well, a little bit of it for now. More to come later, I suppose. In the beginning of this all my last name was Daniels. Lovely last name. I sorta wish Daniel would have taken on my last name rather than I, his. Daniel James Daniels. It has a nice ring to it.

Now, I understand if you're confused about the whole 'love' concept. Considering it confused me for about… I don't know, 18 years of my life… I hardly understood why 2+2=4… But never mind my math issues. I wasn't the brightest. Now, the beginning of my story. October 1, 2012. I'll give you periodic dates so that way you know roughly when all of this crap was happening.

So, here we go. Jumping back in time to when my days merely consisted of eating nothing and lying around on tumblr in my bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2: Bulimic

So, my story begins, oddly enough, in my bathroom. I know, of all the places I could start, it has to be my bathroom. Well, it's starting there for good reason. Maybe with this you'll be able to get a view of how crappy my mental state was at that point.

I was crouched over my toilet, puking up the last remains of my breakfast. I had thought I ate far too much. Two eggs? Ridiculous. But, if I didn't at least eat it, my mum would have practically stabbed me with the kitchen knives. She knew of my eating disorder. I couldn't help it. People in school had been calling me fat ass all my life… well… my high school life… so four years… but whatever! That's irrelevant… what matters is people took my self-worth down so low that I didn't even want to eat anymore… That's what matters.

I wasn't even fat in high school. Yes, I had- well, still have, but had for this instance- curves. I was skinny, yet had a bigger butt and bigger boobs, but my waist was tiny. Like, very tiny. I was just blind to the beauty that my body had and how jealous it made other people.

That's all bullying is anyways, right? Just stupid jealousy making people want to rip you apart for having something great that they don't have? Or am I delirious? Maybe I'm just delirious.

ANYWAYS! I would force myself to get sick after eating, since I had to eat. The consequences would be worse if I didn't eat than if I got sick after. I look back at all of it and regret it, obviously. It was a terrible habit that was practically impossible to break. Let's say that puking turned into crack for me.

I got up from the floor around the toilet, and went to the bathroom. Our toilet and bathroom were separate, as they should be. I needed to brush my teeth, get the smell of puke- and especially the taste- out of my mouth. I brushed my teeth quickly and went back to my room. I went straight to my mirror, wanting to see if there had been any instant transformation. I looked at my body, not seeing what I wanted. Over the days before that, I hadn't really found a better way to keep the weight off. I put on quite a bit of weight before that, and it hadn't really left again yet.

It made me want to cry, honestly. You remember that 'love' thing I talked about? I felt like I would never get love. Never. I was far too fat and ugly for it. I didn't want it at that moment, but one day, I dreamed of it. I was terrified of the thought of being alone forever, yet I was so afraid of being committed to someone too. My life was a jumbled, confused mess.

I sat back down on my bed and opened my laptop to tumblr. I reblogged far too much, and ended up doing so until two hours passed.

"Bianca!" I heard my mum call up to me. Five seconds later I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, still scrolling into the deep, dark, depths of tumblr.

"We are having company, you wanna come help me cook?"

"What are we making?"

"Well, I was thinking you could choose? I know you like eating vegetarian, so why don't we do something vegetarian, a little meat on the side in case someone wants any."

"That's okay, we can do that. How about we do a spaghetti. Chop some green peppers, tomatoes, onions, and some garlic into the sauce." For someone who didn't eat a lot, I sure did love cooking. It was an odd relationship I had with food.

"That sounds delicious. You wanna run to the store? It's only 10 and we have people coming at three."

"That's fine, I can do that. Let me just get dressed, I guess. Can I have some money too?"

"Of course, just come to my room before you leave, okay?" I nodded and she left my room. I quickly changed into a black crop top that had long sleeves, and a short skirt that had a high waist-line. I put on my converse and went to my mum's room. She gave me the money, which was more than enough for the food and then some.

"If you see anything you like along the way at a little shop you can get it for yourself."

"Oh, thanks mum. But I do have my own money to spend if I want something!"

"No, you keep that and just use mine."

"Well, thanks, I guess. I'll see you in about an hour or something…"

"Yep, I love you, Bianca!"

"Love you, too." My mum and I had a pretty good relationship. She cared too much, as most mothers do. I didn't care enough, as most daughters don't. it was the average relationship between a mother and daughter.

I walked out the door. Thankfully we lived close to all the shopping centers needed. I begin the ten minute walk to the super market. So many people were out. Too many. I had a hard time talking to my family and being around them. Being around strangers was practically impossible. But I was willing to do it because my mum asked me to do it.

I felt my phone vibrate in my purse so I stopped and pulled it out. I saw that I got a text from my best friend Izzy. I kept walking as I texted her back, telling her I missed her while she was away in Manchester studying. I had a bad habit of walking and texting. I didn't pay much attention to what was going on in front of me. A common problem for my generation. Clearly, since someone bumped into me, causing me to fall to the ground

"I-I'm sorry!" The man said, offering me a hand up. I took it reluctantly. I grabbed my phone, which was thankfully in a protective case, off the pavement.

"It's fine, I should have been paying better attention." The man put his hand out again.

"I'm Dan." I shook his hand, once again reluctantly.

"Bianca?"

"No, Dan."

"Yeah? My name's Bianca. I'm sorry, I don't usually have strangers on the street who bump into me introduce themselves. I'm just awkward, sorry."

"Oh, don't apologize. Well, I'm sure you have places to be…"

"That I do, Sorry for bumping into you, guess I might see you around, Dan."

He whispered something and hurried away.

"What a peculiar boy…" I said to myself. "Just talking to himself like that. Wait… I'm talking to myself… Oh well, shit happens." I got quite a few weird looks from people walking by. I hurried to the market to buy the ingredients. Since my mum gave me extra money, I decided to take an extra bit of a walk to go get some coffee. It wasn't much further down the road from the market, but after I was sure regretting it. When I finally got at the café, my bum hurt so much from falling and walking around after the fall. I definitely had gotten a bruise.

I go inside and sit down for a few minutes, while they work through the long line of people who decided to get coffee at the same time I did. Typical. Someone goes to the table next to mind and sits down, pulling their phone out and playing what looks to be Angry Birds. The person looks mildly familiar, not like I know them, but like I've seen them before. The person looked around a bit when someone's name was called and I noticed it to be Dan, the boy who ran into me. I ducked my head down, not wanting to be seen by him. He made the whole thing so awkward for me, and I just didn't want to have to have it happen again, so I just stayed hidden.

I was instantly relieved when my name was called. I hurried up to get my drink and rushed out of the building. I was really hoping that I would never have to meet that boy again… he was something else, all right. Then again, who was I to judge right? There I was, the awkward anorexic/bulimic girl. But, I didn't really care. Why? Because he was different and was more outgoing than I. How dare he ask for my name, right? Shame on him. Or shame on me for being so stupid and rude.

I think what it was was that a boy like him, who might I add, had- well, still has- a great face, style, everything. Physically he was perfect. Why would he ask the name of a fat ass like me?

Either way, I didn't want to be around him during that time, he made me uncomfortable in some way. I continued walking home, groceries in hand, sipping my coffee.


	3. Chapter 3: Cooking

_**So, I'm posting two chapters tonight because I'm not going to be able to tomorrow :( So, here's two tonight. I'll post another one Monday night (Us Central time).**_

I got home about twenty minutes later. I walked fairly slowly, since my bum freaking hurt. I walked into the kitchen and put the groceries on the table and started to pull them out to be washed, since mostly everything was fresh veggies. My mum came down into the kitchen and looked at everything.

"It all looks perfect. Thanks for going to get everything."

"No problem. So, why are people coming over?"

"We have to talk about family reunion and Christmas. Basically a family meeting."

"Oh, okay. That's fine."

"Yeah, Bethany just called a bit ago and told me to cook for one extra person, too. I'm guessing she's bringing one of her friends along."

"That's fine. Let me tell you, mum. I fell straight on my bum on the way to get groceries."

"How?" She asked, getting mildly concerned.

"I was texting and this guy was texting so neither of us were watching where we were going and boom! We collided. He was much taller than I, though, so he knocked me over. He helped me up and apologized. Learned his name was Dan. I wasn't sure what relevance him telling me his name would have been, but he told me and we separated. Then I went to the coffee shop and he was there too… I was convinced for a second that he was stalking me… But when I left I didn't see him anymore, so I figured it was fine."

"Odd. You make too much out of some things though. I'm sure he wasn't stalking you."

"I know, I overreact. Anyways, let's get cooking. You said by three right? It might take like twenty minutes more than that, but it's whatever."

"That's fine, people are usually late anyways."

"It's just Bill, Cas, Beth, Phil, Beth's friend, Brynna, and you and me, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, easy. Let's do this," I said as I pulled out my apron. I tied my long, blonde hair into a pony tail on the top of my head and started cutting veggies. I started with the onions. I grabbed a plate and cut off the ends of the onion and took off the first layer. I put it in the microwave for about thirty seconds and my mum looked at me confused.

"The reason onions hurt your eyes when you cut them is because they emit a weird gas or something into the air. When you microwave it, the heat makes the onion let out all the gas in there, rather than out here. Just clean the microwave pretty well before you make anything you don't want that onion flavor on."

"Did you take a secret cooking class I didn't know about?"

"No, it's called the cooking channel. I learn way too much there."

"Well, I need to start watching this. What else do you learn? Anything good?"

"I would hope so. We'll see how this turns out."

I start cutting up the rest of the veggies. I diced the tomatoes and started making the sauce. Nothing really that fun for explaining. The sauce didn't take that long to put together, but I also had to get the garlic bread I decided to make ready to be put in the oven. I melted two sticks of butter and diced two cloves of garlic. I mixed the cloves in the butter and spread that all over the bread. I set it off to the side, wrapped in tin-foil.

At about two the sauce was almost done. I had to make the noodles, and shred the cheese still. That wouldn't take too long though. The noodles only needed about twenty minutes on a low setting.

"GAH! The meat!"

"Oh, that's right! We wanted to give a non-vegetarian option…"

"It's fine I can put it on the stove and start cooking it." I started making the beef on the stove. It doesn't' take too long to cook, thankfully, only ten minutes. I pulled out one more pot and put the cooked beef into it. I took about half the sauce and put it into the pan.

"So, what am I wearing to this thing? Is this fine?" I said as I stirred the beef sauce around.

"Yes. Wear whatever you want to wear."

"Okay, well I'm just leaving this on then. I don't care what I look like."

"You look adorable and perfect." I heard the door open and I saw Beth, my older sister walk in. She was followed by Brynna, Phil and, to my surprise… Dan, the one who bumped into me.

"Okay, really? Are you stalking me? This is crazy!" I shouted, turning back to stir my sauce.

"I just got really confused…" Beth said quietly.

"Really? You think I'm stalking here because your sister invited me to this thing with my best friend?"

"You're despicable!"

"HOW?! What the hell? You seemed so nice earlier and now you're being so rude!"

"Bianca, you wanna explain to me, please?"

"We bumped into each other earlier, I politely helped her off the ground, knowing that it was mildly my fault since I was also not paying attention. Introduced myself, and now she thinks I'm some crazy stalker."

"I saw you come to the same coffee shop I went to!"

"So am I not allowed to go to a coffee shop right next to my home? This is ridiculous and I'm regretting coming… I think I'm going home."

"No you're not!" Beth yelled. "I brought you so you wouldn't be a total loner! And now, you are staying and having linner with us!" I went into our cupboards and pulled out a big pot to boil the noodles in. I grabbed a bunch of different types of noodles out of the cupboard. I like my spaghetti to have texture. I don't like just the regular spaghetti noodles. I use a bunch of different types because it's how I like it.

"Isn't this spaghetti?" Dan asked. "Why are you using those different noodles?"

"Are you telling me what to do in _my_ kitchen?"

"No, but I'm just wondering…"

"Because I like texture and it's how I want it to be. Plus all the noodles have a bit of a different flavor, but they all work together really well, so it gives a nice, new flavor."

"Don't all noodles taste the same?"

"No, some have a sweeter taste. There's a reason a lot of them look different from the other. Yes, some do taste the same, hence why I said it was added for texture. The tastes will go together perfectly, considering there are also a lot of other veggies in this with the sauce. So there's tangy, sweet, spicy, bitter. They all work together well."

"Well, I need to pay better attention to the cooking channel."

"My sister's always been quite the chef," Beth added in. "Whoever's lucky enough to get her someday is going to be well fed."

"As long as they can provide the food to cook with, I'm good."

"Oh, that's right! I always forget that you want to be a stay-at-home-mom someday." Hey, I may have been anorexic and bulimic, but I love me some babies.

"That's the dream. Not any time soon though. I would like to give it a few more years… like at least five…"

"So you want to be my age."

"Basically. Hey, why are you guys here so early anyways?"

"Because we had nothing better to do, so we came here," Phil said.

"Oh, that's fine."

"Bianca, I'm digging the outfit," Beth said

"You can't even see it…" My apron was covering it.

"The back of your apron is open. I can see it."

"Oh, well, thanks I guess."

"It does look a little dirty on the bum though."

"DON'T POINT THAT OUT PEOPLE WILL LOOK!"

"You are all so boring!" Brynna said.

"You don't have to stay in the kitchen…" Mum said.

"It's 2:30 right now and I'm almost done making food. My prep time went down about twenty minutes. I'm proud." I said. I put the bread in the oven and the noodles in the boiling water. I took the apron off and pulled my hair down. "I thought it was going to take twenty minutes longer."

"Can you teach me? I seriously can't cook at all!" Beth asked.

"Yeah girl! What do you want to learn to make?"

"Anything."

"Anything it is. We'll do something with chicken."

"I like chicken. Phil, you like chicken?"

"Chicken's good."

"Good. Sometime next week?"

"That's fine."

"Great. WHOOP COOKING! Well, I've done everything I can for this meal other than pull those things out. Mum, you're okay with putting it in serving bowls when it's time, right?"

"Yeah, how do I make sure it doesn't burn?"

"Really, mum?"

"Well?"

"Keep stirring it. Like, not constantly, but turn the heat down a bit, and stir everything once every four minutes."

"Okay, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go relax for a bit. Probably play a game or something in the living room."

"Okay, have fun dear." I went to the living room and started up the Wii.


	4. Chapter 4: Mario Kart

With the wii started, I instantly went to Mario Kart. I heard Beth urging someone to come in by me. I assumed it to be Dan. I was just prepared for the worst. His presence didn't bother me as much as I could have imagined it to, it still wasn't great, but I could deal with it.

"FINE! You two are so pushy!" I heard him yell. I wasn't even in the game yet, so if he wanted to join, I would let him. He stomped in. "They want me to be 'social'. I don't want to… What are you playing? I figure if I don't ask they will kill me."

"Mario Kart. You can join if you'd like. I'm only playing a round or two though."

"That's fine. I'll just obliterate you in those one or two rounds."

"Oh, really? You're on!" I pressed start and we joined the game. I used my go to character, Yoshi. I let Dan choose the course. I spent way too much time playing Mario Kart. I know every single thing there is to know about those courses. I think that is a ridiculous amount of addicted.

He chose Cheep Cheep Beach. I looked at him, he looked very determined to beat me.

"Dan, let's make a deal," I said.

"Like what?"

"Loser buys coffee."

He looked hesitant for a second, but nodded. "You're on."

"I like it black, just so you know."

"Get me a mocha."

"Well, may the best man win."

"I would hope I'd win then. I'm the only man playing."

"Oh, you taking it literal and stuff…" The course started and I went. I think he chose that course because of the crab things on the beach toward the end, but I know how to get people to run into them. I planned on getting ahead of him for a bit, especially toward the end, and fake them out. I use the obstacles to my advantage. Not many people do that.

I ended up winning, of course.

"Best two out of three!" Dan said.

"Fine… Only because I'm generous. But I'm choosing the course."

"Deal."

"Good, I wasn't giving you an option."

"You're so sassy. And rude… but I guess rudeness comes with sass."

"Yes it does. You're smart. I'm gonna do… Baby Park."

"Wait… you're kidding, right?"

"Of course not. Let's-a-go," I said, mimicking Mario's voice.

We started and I let Dan get in the lead. I basically stopped and waited until I was in eighth place. The best part about this course is it's easy to catch up in. Especially going from eighth place to second or first place. Once I was in last place I got the power-up I wanted. The bullet. I used it instantly and was in second place in about four seconds. I kept going, and got a follow turtle on my next power up, and knocked Dan out of first. At that point it was the final lap and he was about ten seconds away from the finish line. I knocked him out, though, and won the race. This may seem of little importance, but I promise, it was a bonding time for Dan and me.

"Well, damn. I didn't think anyone was better than I was at this game. Well, obviously there are people better, but you just don't look like you would be because-" I raised my eyebrows, wanting him to finish. "You just don't look like the type of person who would like this game."

"So what do I look like?" I asked with a laugh.

"You… look like the kind that wouldn't play a lot of Mario games."

"Oh really? How?" I asked, trying to make him say what I know he was thinking. He was acting so awkward that I wanted him to say it. I was a bitch. What can I say. I was just as awkward, but to have someone acting more awkward than I ever was… well, there's something refreshing about it.

"You… are… not ugly. So, you don't look like the kind of girl to play."

"You basically said that. Wait, so the stereotypical girl to play Mario is ugly? Wow, are you single? You have such people skills."

"Well, shucks, how'd yah guess I'm single? I'm really good with people and don't know why I am single." He said sarcastically.

"Lucky guess, dear, lucky guess. Now, when should we do coffee?"

"Well… when's this thing done?"

"Probably about five or six."

"How about five or six? I want to go out anyways, so if we are over at a café or something there will probably be a shop around there that I can find a movie in."

"Oh, I'll help you pick one. Movies are sorta my thing."

"You have a lot of stuff that you are good with… Cooking, clothing, movies, Mario Kart…"

"Yes, but there's a lot that I also suck at. Like mostly everything but those four topics."

"I highly doubt that," he said, with a bit of a smile. Not just a smile though, it was one of those charming 'I'm-trying-to-get-you-to-fall-for-me' side smiles. It made one dimple show prominently on his face.

"Are we acquaintances? Didn't I hate you about half an hour ago?"

"You did. Are we? I don't know."

"I think we are. I'm okay with this," I said as I stood up to go check on dinner. "Oh, and Dan?"

"Yes?"

"I know you were trying to call me pretty earlier, I just wanted to prolong your suffering and make it as awkward as possible."

"I-… I won't deny that… BUT YOU DIDN'T NEED TO MAKE IT SO AWKWARD FOR ME!"

"That's what friends do, Dan."

"Wait, I thought we were acquaintances..."

"I decided you're cool enough to be my friend," I said as I tied my hair back up and put my apron on. I walked back in to see how dinner was going.


	5. Chapter 5: Dinner

I had quite the smirk on my face when I went back into the kitchen to see Beth's smile.

"So, are you and Dan getting along?" She asked me happily.

"I suppose? I think he's still in there playing Mario Kart if you wanna ask him yourself. How's the not burning things going, mum?"

"I think it's going okayish. You wanna come check?"

"I put the apron on for a reason. It smells wonderful. The onions and the green peppers are mixing together so well. Don't you just love that smell?"

"It's delightful," Dan said as he walked in the kitchen. It was almost three and there were no signs of Bill and Cas showing up. My mum told me she texted them, and that they were on their way. They only lived about ten minutes away, as well, so it was at any minute they would be at our house.

"So, they'll be here any minute?" I asked mum.

"Any minute."

"I just wanna eat…" I said, sadly as I dumped the pot of noodles into a sieve. While they were draining, I grabbed a chunk of parmesan cheese and put it in a food processor. That grates the cheese faster than I could have done it sooo… shortcuts.

I put that into a bowl, the noodles in a bowl, the sauces in separate bowls, and grabbed things to drink. My mum had the table set and we had enough chairs already. Phil, Beth, Dan, Brynna, mum and I carried things to the table. Beth sat next to Phil, and i sat across from Beth, and Dan across from Phil. Mum would sit next to Beth and I so Bill and Cas could sit next to each other.

Brynna came into the dining room and sat next to Phil. Dan took her spot, but she'd just need to deal with it.

Bill and Cas came in a few minutes later.

"FINALLY!" I shouted. I got a bit of the noodles on my plate. "Huzzah, food."

"Are you actually going to eat it, or just puke it up later?" Brynna asked, glaring at me. "I heard you in the bathroom this morning."

"You always wonder why I hate you, this is why. Mind your own business."

"Bianca… You promised…"

"I believe this is neither the time nor the place to be talking about me puking my food. So, can we not?"

"I think it is…" Beth said sadly. "I knew you were anorexic… but I didn't really think you'd go to bulimia too…"

"Turns out that I did though, didn't i?"

"You know the damage that it causes, right? Especially since you don't eat that much as it is…"

"So?"

"Your stomach acid will burn up your esophagus. There will end up being a electrolyte imbalance that could lead to heart failure. Plus, your body absorbs no nutrients from the food that is in the stomach for that short amount of time." Beth said.

"I'm fat. I'll do whatever it takes to fix it, even if it includes a threat. Anyways, how do you even know all of that? You're not a doctor."

"Oh, so you want a doctor? Fine, we're going in tomorrow. We'll have a doctor tell you exactly what it does." Mum said, sounding angry.

"I know this because I had a friend in school with it. She needed to know what she was doing to her body. I'll even google it right now." She typed on her phone for a few seconds and read off a bunch of consequences to bulimia. "Electrolyte imbalances that can lead to irregular heartbeats and possibly heart failure and death. Electrolyte imbalance is caused by dehydration and loss of potassium, sodium and chloride from the body as a result of purging behaviors. Potential for gastric rupture during periods of bingeing. Inflammation and possible rupture of the esophagus from frequent vomiting. Tooth decay and staining from stomach acids released during frequent vomiting. Peptic ulcers and pancreatitis. The list goes on, Bianca. It's not healthy."

"I know it's not. I never claimed it was." I looked at Dan, and he looked very uncomfortable. "Can we drop it for now? I seriously don't wanna talk about this during dinner." A lot of what they were saying made sense. I knew it wasn't good for me, but I wanted to do anything I could to lose weight. I was sick of being fat. My throat did hurt, though.

"You can't go anywhere alone anymore," Mum said.

"This isn't the way to end an eating disorder, mum… you know that."

"It's how I'm going to do it, though."

"Mum, she can come stay with me. I'm always home. Plus my room is right next to the bathroom. Of course if I'd go stay with Phil she'd have to come home or with, but that's whatever."

"Really? You'd do that? With Brynna at school and me at work… that would help so much."

"Are you kidding me? I need a babysitter?"

"Yes, you do. Until you stop being ridiculous."

"Well, I think I'm done here. I'll be up in my room."

"No, you won't. I already told you. You aren't allowed to be upstairs alone or downstairs alone. You have to have someone with you at all times."

"I'll go with her," Dan said. I glared at him a bit.

"I don't need a fucking babysitter."

"Thank you, Dan." I got up and started walking to my room.

"Bianca, I'll tell you what we decide about the family reunion." Mum called to me before I disappeared up the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6: Not Alone

I slammed my door shut, only for it to be opened a second later by Dan.

"I hate everyone. Brynna did that on purpose. She did it so that way I would be the topic of conversation and be uncomfortable. I know it. She hates me for absolutely no reason and I'm sick of her treating me like this."

"I don't understand…"

"I don't either…"

"No, I don't understand how you could do that to yourself."

"Not you too! God! I hate everyone! Literally everyone! I don't know why I do it. My mind makes me, okay? I can't do anything about it."

"Well, you gotta try to do something about it…"

"My issue is I am an adult and I can choose what I do."

"They just care about you."

"If they care so much they will let me make my own choices. That's how it is. And they are really stupid. Like what? Do they believe that I'm not gonna be able to do this anymore? What are they gonna do? Follow e to the bathroom? For real? No. They aren't. That's creepy and I won't let them."

"That I agree with. If they took it to that extent then I wouldn't feel comfortable either. But, I think that it's the best option. Letting them help monitor you and stuff… before you do something stupid."

"I'm just not eating. I'm done with food. I'm never hungry anyways."

"You do realize I will just tell your sister everything you're saying and she will make you eat."

"Whatever, let's just go back downstairs though. I need to use the bathroom, so I'll meet you downstairs."

"Fine, if you're not down in two minutes I'm sending someone up."

"Deal." We both left my room ad I went to the bathroom. I didn't really need to go to the bathroom. I was going to puke, whether they liked it or not.

I locked the door and set a timer on my phone. I had a minute and thirty seconds. Forcing myself to puke wasn't really all that hard. I literally just shoved my fingers in the back of my throat and boom. Instant vomit. There was a little spaghetti, but it was mostly bile. My throat burned, but it was mildly pleasing to me. I knew that I did something I needed to do. I quickly brushed my teeth and my alarm went off. I hurried down the stairs and went into the dining room.

I smiled at everyone, to show I was in a better mood.

"Just in time," mum said. "We are going to talk about our trip."

"Okay," I said, "I'm excited for it. Can't wait to see everyone again."

"Yep. We are going to all go to Brighton this year. They have this lovely building that they are renting out. It's in a cute hotel that they are going to have decorated beautifully. They already send me a bunch of pictures, but wanted me to keep it as a surprise for you guys. Now, I've also set up so Bianca and Brynna can bring a friend so that way they aren't alone. Beth, you're bringing Phil, I assume."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Okay, so everyone is accounted for. If someone else comes up that we want to invite that is close to us, I will get them accounted for, but you just have to let me know ASAP."

"Bianca," Brynna said, "you should eat some more."

"I don't want to. I'm not hungry. Stop trying to start things."

"Brynna, stop," mum said. "I don't want to have this discussion right now. You don't need to worry about it. It's going to be with Bianca, Beth, and Me. And Dan and Phil."

"AND ME!" Cas yelled across the table. Cas is my brother's wife. At the time she was very, VERY pregnant. Due any day pregnant. If that gives you an idea of how pregnant.

"Basically everyone but you, Brynna," I said with a bit of a smile on my face.

"Well, this is not fair."

"Life's not fair, dear."

"Honestly, Brynna," Bill started, "it's probably for the best that you don't get too involved. You could end up making it worse, especially since you and Bianca… well you guys just don't get along."

"That's true, Brynna, and Bianca is going to be very stressed out. So we don't need to add anymore. I'm sorry, but right now she's the main concern." Mum said. "Now, back to the family trip. It's going to be in April. The 10th to the 20th. So make sure you get out of work or whatever else you need to do."

"Deal. I don't have anything going on, mum, so I'm clear." I said.

"Brynna's gonna get out of school for a week. Lucky girl." Bill said.

"Is this all that there is to the rest of this meeting?"

"Basically. Anything else of importance?"

"Nope. We're good." Cas said, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Cool, Dan, I believe you owe me a cup of coffee."

"Wait, what?" Beth asked.

"I kicked his ass at Mario Kart, now he owes me coffee."

"Dan, I could have told you not to bet anything while playing her… when that game came out she spent all of her time on it."

"So did I! I don't understand how she beat me. She learned all the tricks… All of them. I think she's a witch."

"Yes, I'm a witch. You know me. Now, to the coffee shop. Are we walking? We're getting out of here a lot quicker than I thought we would. It's only 4:35. We have plenty of time."

"Yeah… we can walk, let's go." Dan said. We got up and started walking toward the door.

"Bianca?" Mum asked. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, I guess." We went to the downstairs bathroom for a bit of privacy.

"Remember what we said. No being alone."

"Mum, I know… I won't be, and do you really think I'm going to puke in a random public place? That's disgusting."

"I know… but this whole thing terrifies me." She was trying to guilt trip me into stopping. This wasn't something so easily stopped though. It took time. Lots of time. And I had to just watch her be upset. It didn't really bother me. Bulimia and Anorexia are very selfish. You let yourself basically (Not in all cases, though) rot away. You can have crazy heart issues. You see, when you try to lose weight in one of these two ways you are stopping your body from getting nutrients. The only issue with that is that it is taking away from the muscles. The body needs to eat somehow, and the first thing to go is usually muscle mass. It keeps using the good stuff, muscle, until it's gone then it goes to the fat, which is not so great, but stored up just in case you need it. But what a lot of people, myself in those days included, don't realize is your heart is a muscle. Your heart gets weakened in the beginning, not to the point of shutting down, but it still isn't as strong. That's why it was so dangerous for me. Did I care? Not one bit.

"I don't know what to say… but my friend is waiting, so I gotta go. I love you."

"Wait… your… friend? I thought you hated him?"

"Well, I changed my mind now didn't I? Bye, mum."

"Bye." We both stepped out and I ran to the front door. I needed to put my shoes on, so I just slipped on my knee high boots. I grabbed a jacket and my purse and we were on our way.


	7. Chapter 7: Coffee

"So, coffee, then get the movie. Anything else you wanna do while we're out?" Dan asked as we stepped out of my door way.

"I don't mind. We can do whatever. I brought money."

"Oh… okay. That's fine. We don't have to do anything that costs a lot or anything though."

"Dan, we can literally do whatever. I'm just happy to be out of the house. I don't care how much money it costs."

"Well… I don't know…"

"I'm not going to make you spend money, Dan. Well, then again I am, because I want coffee."

"If I get a movie tonight, do you wanna come over and watch it? Or we could watch it at your house? Or Beth's place? Or wherever…"

"I don't know. Let's see how this date goes," I said, once again taking the chance to make him feel awkward.

"Wait… is that what this is? Did you trick me into a date?"

"It's only a date if you want it to be one. I won't force it on you."

"Does that mean you want it to be a date?"

"I couldn't care any less about whether this is a date or not. You seem very fidgety to the idea of it being a date though, Dan. Come on, a boy like you? You probably have girls hanging off of you."

"Nope. Too awkward for girls to want to be around me all the time."

"Aww, come on, I think it's cute. Hey, this spot gives me crazy déjà vu. I wonder why? Oh I know, it's where some crazy boy ran into me and knocked me on my ass."

"Hey now! You were just as much at fault as I was."

"I know. I just like poking fun at you. You over react."

"I gotta work on that… I'm letting you have too much fun…" I felt my phone vibrate in my purse and I pulled it out. It was a text from Beth, telling me to tell Dan to check his phone.

"Check your phone. Beth said."

"You know, if you wouldn't have come out with me I'd either have not gone out or gone out alone. Both are awful. If I'd stayed home I'd have had Beth and Phil being all lovey with each other and I'd be sitting there awkwardly. OR I would be out alone and they would none stop text me and I'd be standing here awkwardly texting them."

"You have other friends, don't you?"

"Not many. I don't like to curse other's with my company."

"I'm very blessed to be here with you right now. I'm sorry if I was a bitch earlier. I don't take kindly to random people I meet on the street."

"Understood. I was a bit of a dick earlier too. We both had faults."

"So what were the odds of us meeting twice in the same day, one random one not? Like, yeah, the second one was _random_ but not random. I sorta knew you were coming I just didn't know it was you."

"Pretty small. But I think we were supposed to. Fate and all that weird shit."

"Yeah, I don't believe in fate. It's kinda a stupid concept."

"I know, just a word people use for this stuff. We were meant to meet though. I can tell. Otherwise I wouldn't have seen you twice today and gotten to get to know you the way I have."

"Yeah, I get that. Hey, how was my spaghetti?"

"Actually, it was amazing. If I could eat one thing for the rest of my life, I'm tempted to say it would be that."

"Well, dang. That's possibly the best pot of spaghetti I've ever made then."

"It was magnificent. I kinda want more."

"I'll pack some up for you when I go home. We aren't going to eat all of that before it's bad, so you can have some."

"Goooood. I'm excited for lunch tomorrow now."

"You should just come over and take a bunch of it tomorrow then."

"Are you sure this isn't a date?"

"Well, you keep mentioning it as a date, Dan… You can just admit that you want me. You're the one that keeps bringing it up."

"Heyyy now. You're a nice girl. But I hate the way that was put. 'Admit that you want me.' To me that implies sexy times and I'm not the kind of guy that's just after that."

"I appreciate you. You're different from a lot of guys."

"I'm just not a dickhead."

"There's a reason I haven't dated. Most guys either made fun of me or tried to sleep with me."

"So there was no in between. It was either bad or bad."

"Basically. I hate people. I already told you."

"Yeah, you also pretty much told me that you hated me… is that true, too?"

"Yes. I hate you so much. That's why we are going to coffee."

"I knew it!" He yelled as we approached the café. We ordered quickly and sat down and waited for our drinks to be ready.

"So, Dan, what do you do for a living?"

"Well… if I told you, you'd probably think I was insane."

"I promise I won't think you were insane."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"I make youtube videos. I don't tell many people that, because I don't want to be used by people, but… I think I can trust you."

"So… you're one of the people on youtube… like Tyler Oakley, and pewdiepie."

"Yeah, basically. More like Tyler."

"Dang. Not gonna lie, you're the first youtuber I've ever met."

"Or so you think."

"What does that mean?"

"That's not my secret to tell." Our names were called and we got our drinks. Dan told me more of what it's like to be a youtuber.

"It's weird though. Like, I've thought about making videos, I wanted to for a while, but I just don't think I'd be good. Like, I have a channel that I use mostly for commenting, but I wouldn't make videos."

"It's a weird thing to start on. But, once you get past the weird 'I'm not talking to people I'm talking to a camera' feeling, it's okay."

"I may give it a try… I don't think I will though."

"Personally I think you'd be okay doing it."

"I don't know… You almost done with your coffee?"

"Yeah, we should go get that movie."

"Okay, let's go." And at that, we walked out of the café and back down the street.


	8. Chapter 8: Great Guy

We had found a nice little movie store, which, up until that point, I hadn't known it existed.

"So, what genre do you want."

"I don't really care. I'm good with anything."

"Well, you're going to be watching it more than I will. So, choose a genre."

"Okay… Horror."

"Woman in Black. Not too scary, though."

"I mean… it was kinda scary…"

"No way. You know what movie was terrifying? The Grudge. Never again. Not if I'm alone. I made the mistake of watching it alone… in the dark."

"You weren't very bright… That one made my parents terrified of everything after they went to see it in the theater. They checked under their car for monsters. I didn't watch it yet. I don't think I want to."

"DAN! We should watch it together!"

"What? Wait… I don't really think I want to."

"Come onnnnn!"

"Okay. Together, right?"

"Of course. I just got done telling you I watched it alone and regret it. I wouldn't make you suffer like that."

"Good. Let's get it…" We went to the horror section and got the movie. I paid for it. He bought me coffee, so I told him I was buying him a movie. He complained saying it wasn't even for me, but I insisted. I'm just that kind of person who if Good. Let's get it…" We went to the horror section and got the movie. I paid for it. He bought me coffee, so I told him I was buying him a movie. He complained saying it wasn't even for me, but I insisted. I'm just that kind of person who if you get me something, I'll get something for you. Get a little, give a little, get a lot, give a lot. That's how I live. It's the easiest thing. It's also a good way to not be selfish.

"Thanks for the movie… I guess…"

"You didn't even want to watch it. You're probably only going to watch it once. I may as well get it for you, since I suggested it."

"I guess… but still!"

"No 'still'. Merry Christmas. There you go."

"Fine."

"Or payment for the coffee. Whichever you'd prefer. Or we could have debt and payments because we just want to be nice. That's an option too."

"Deal. You want ice cream or something before we go watch this?"

"Dan, you're talking to the anorexic girl. I really don't want ice cream."

"Right… sorry for asking."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry that you have to deal with me."

"Listen, I don't like when people aren't happy. Beauty comes from within. Not how you look. Sure, how ."

"Right… sorry for asking."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry that you have to deal with me."

"Listen, I don't like when people aren't happy. Beauty comes from within. Not how you look. Sure, how you look is nice, but I'd rather have someone with a great personality rather than someone who is just focused on the outside appearances."

"Has anyone ever told you you're the perfect guy? 'Cause you kinda are."

"No, I'm just not shallow."

"I like that. A lot of guys only want the physical aspects of everything, but they don't appreciate the emotional bond that can form. I hate when guys say that to get married they need to sleep with the person first. Like, I'm sorry, you can take me for who I am and not for how good I am 'in the sack', as it's been put for me before. I'm not just going to sleep with whoever so they can decide if I'm marriage worthy. No, you're going to love me for personality and how I act, not how much sex I can offer. Rant, over."

"I get that, though. My last girlfriend literally wanted to sleep with me in the first two days. How can you decide that in two days? I don't want to just sleep with anyone."

"You've never just done it because you wanted to?"

"My teen years were dark. I've changed a lot though."

"I've never had sex… Someone in school basically threatened to rape me… that was upsetting. But, whatever… that's the past."

"You want it to be special, you don't want to just sleep with anyone. I understand that."

"Thank you. You're a great guy, Dan."

"I don't get how you see that, but thanks."

"No problem."

"Hey, where are we watching this movie? My place or yours?"

"Well, I don't want to walk home in the dark alone… so probably mine… Unless you're afraid of the dark too, then we're having a sleepover somewhere."

"Yeah… I am… how'd you guess?"

"Really? I didn't even know. Whatever, no judgment since I'm terrified of it, too."

"So, where do you wanna go? Your place or mine?"

"Probably mine, then. Unless your mum would care."

"She won't. She doesn't have a choice. It's my choice, and I have someone with me."

"That's true. Okay, well, I guess you'll want to change into something more comfortable… 'cause you're in a skirt and crop top."

"Hey now, I'm in a coat too."

"That's true. So, do you want to? Otherwise you could probably just steal Beth's clothes that she has there."

"No, I don't want her clothes. She doesn't dress like me. I couldn't let myself wear what she does."

"Well, dang."

"Yeah, so let's stop at my house so I can get some stuff."

"Okay, let's get comfy!"

"Whoop, whoop!" It was getting darker out, and colder at that. I buttoned up my jacket, glad I grabbed the thickest one I owned.

We hurried to get to my house. My mum was waiting in the living room for me to come back.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey, I'm going to hang out with Dan tonight."

"Okay, just remember, no being alone."

"I'll keep a good eye on her, Mrs. Daniels." Dan said.

"We'll be up in my room. I'm getting clothes and stuff."

"Okay, just come see me before you leave."

"Okay." We went up to my room. I grabbed my backpack and put some clothes in. I just put in a pair of leggings and a plain white t-shirt. I also put in a tank top and a hoodie. I grabbed some sweatpants and a sweater and went to change in the bathroom. I put on my converse and we were ready to go.

"Bye, mum." I said as I went back downstairs.

"Bye, guys. Have fun."

"OH WAIT! I need to bring my elephant!" I ran upstairs and grabbed a stuffed elephant. Basically my only sanity when I was having panic attacks. Just in case. I always took it with when I was away from home. That's when I had the worst panic attacks.

I went back downstairs. "Sorry… need my elephant."

"You're pathetic…" Brynna said, walking in with a glass of milk.

"And you're mean, but I don't point it out."

"No, really, though. You're such a baby… I'm more of an adult than you."

"Brynna, you need to stop, go to your room," Mum said.

"We're leaving. Bye."

"Bye, love you! Don't forget to text me when you'll be home."

"No problem. Bye." And with that, Dan and I were on the way to his place to watch our movie.


	9. Chapter 9: Movie

**FORGIVE ME! I've never seen this movie for real because I'm too afraid to do it. AND right now it's storming and I can't sleep while it's storming so you get a rewritten chapter. Remember that as I write this, it's not the same time as posting as well, so whatever's happening while I write may be totally different from when I'm uploading. I'm kinda excited for this storm. It's the first big one of the year since the snow's melted, so I'm happy. But terrified. I'm so afraid of thunderstorms…**

We were about halfway through the movie. The walk to Dan's was by the coffee shop we went to, and if he'd had told me I wouldn't have had us go to my house to get comfy clothes. That was the third time that day I made that walk. It was mildly annoying, but I dealt with it.

Anyways, the movie was terrifying for me. I could see Dan wasn't getting too scared.

"I don't understand you. How are you not hiding away from this?!"

"Well, it just seems fake and it's been done far too many times. Everything in this is 'typical' horror movie stuff."

"Then I'm just a baby, you butt. HOW THOUGH!?"

"I don't know, I'm just so manly," Dan said, jokingly while flexing his arms.

"You look ridiculous, I hope you know that," I said, making the mistake of looking back at the tv after I said it. I let out a little scream as some other stupid thing happened in the movie. I basically folded my body in half because I didn't want to watch it anymore.

"You're weak."

"I know, you are far too strong for me. I'm not going to be able to sleep for the next few weeks… Do I have to leave tonight? Oh my God I might die if I need to walk home in the dark…" I would have driven there, but I had that 'no car swag'.

"Do you need to hide or something?"

"I don't know… probably do you have an extra blanket I can just put over my head."

"Yeah, I have one… literally right behind your head."

"Well, I've been cold this whole time… I should learn to be more Sherlock."

"No, you can't Sherlock."

"I wanna Sherlock, though."

"No, you can't Sherlock in my house."

"It's an apartment."

"I'll tickle you," He threatened. I'm mega ticklish. Like, too ticklish. It's not fair. I don't want to be, but I'm stuck with this. Trying to push it off like it didn't matter to me, I just said something really stupid.

"I'm not ticklish… good luck." You see, that gave a challenge. Humans are very… competitive creatures. Very. So, that gave him the opening to just tickle me like mad. And he did. And I started screaming and flailing my limbs. And I may have slapped him accidentally…. But he just kept tickling me. How? I don't know. Usually if someone gets slapped in the face they stop doing that shit, but no. He just kept on going.

"I know your weakness now. I'm going to use that against you, you know that right?"

"I figured as much. Everyone does. Izzy does that all the time… I hate it so much."

"Izzy?"

"Oh, my best friend from school." Oh Izzy. What a babe. When I was getting bullied she stopped it. I don't know how she did it, but she did. I'm literally in debt to her, because without her I would have killed myself.

"Oh, got it. So, this movie is boring the shit out of me, so I vote we turn this shit off and watch pokemon or something."

"Deal. Only because pokemon."

He turned off the stupid grudge movie which sucks anyways, and put on pokemon. As it was starting I got up to go to the bathroom- TO REALLY GO PEE! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?! I hurried and went back to Dan and sat next to him, a little closer than I had been previously. I wanted to see how far out of my comfort zone I could take myself I guess. And I wanted to try to make Dan uncomfortable.

I moved a bit closer, leaning on his shoulder. He jumped up a bit, but calmed down instantly. Of course, after I got fairly comfortable, I got thirsty and sat up to take a sip of my water. I laid back onto him, only this time I was nuzzled more into his side, rather than on his shoulder. I was sorta inside his shoulder, if that makes sense. Okay, I was basically lying in his armpit, but it didn't smell gross and he wasn't sweaty, so I didn't really care. I actually managed to get pretty comfy in that position. I literally didn't move at all.

I get tired fairly easy while watching movies or tv shows. The odd thing is I watch half of it, fall asleep, watching the movie again the next day, only I fall asleep for the first half, then I wake up during a part I haven't seen.

Can we guess what happened? Yep… fell asleep.

"Soooo… You didn't leave last night?" Beth asked. I open my eyes in a sunny environment, very different from the night before. It was the same room, only brighter.

"Clearly not," I said, shutting my eyes again, cuddling back up to Dan.

"You and Dan got pretty cozy last night, didn't you?"

"Can I sleep?"

"No, you gotta get up. Of course you can go back to sleep, just wondering."

"You woke me up for this? A two second Q and A?"

"Basically. It's what I'm good at. Get back to sleep punk."

It took me about thirty seconds to fall asleep again.

I slept until noon, and naturally just opened my eyes.

"It's about time you're up," Dan said.

"How long've you been up?"

"Probably an hour."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WAKE ME UP, LOSER?!"

"You looked so relaxed and I'm not an asshole."

"That's debatable. You seriously could have moved me. Sorry for falling asleep on you, too."

"It's fine. It was kinda comfy."

"Don't lie to me."

"No, it was. Been a while since I've cuddled."

"Wait, you and Phil don't cuddle together? Don't boys do that too?"

"Uh, no."

"Why not? Girls do it all the time. It's the best thing."

"No."

"DAN! DOOO IT!"

"I'll pass. You can just be my cuddle buddy."

"I suppose. Maybe. Yes. I'm down for it. Okay, I need to change into something different. I'm stealing some of Beth's clothes."

"Okay, go ahead and go into Phil's room and just take some."

I got up and went to Phil's room, but the door was closed. I just pushed it open, not thinking about knocking, and found my sister inside, talking to a camera.

"Well, Bianca, looks like you get to learn my secret profession now."


	10. Chapter 10: Youtubers

"You're talking to a camera. You do youtube… THAT'S WHAT YOU MEANT DAN!? Really?"

"What? He told you?"

"Not about you, but about him. I'd just never heard of either of you. I'm not on youtube much…"

"What's with all the yelling?" Dan asked.

"Really? You probably could have just told me my sister made videos for the internet. Not that hard to let out."

"Yeah, but I think that if she was keeping it hidden, it was probably for a reason."

"Not gonna lie, Bianca, but I didn't want you to go tell dad. I know you still talk to him from time to time. I don't know who he is… I don't want to talk to him, and I don't want him finding out about this… If he found out he could use me for this and I don't want that to happen… so that's why I kept it hidden from you. Everyone else in the family knows, minus Brynna."

"Really? REALLY? You thought I would tell dad? I wouldn't dream of doing that. By the way, since you brought him up, I need to talk to you after this."

"That's fine, but so there you go. I'm a youtuber. I make videos on the internet. So does Dan, as you know, and so does Phil."

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Talking to a camera."

"Weird at first, but it gets better as you go. It's odd, but fun at the same time."

"Weird."

"Listen… there's this video going around right now, like a tag video… the sister tag… You wouldn't mind doing it with me, would you?"

"I- uhm… I don't think I would? I don't want to ruin it though, so maybe I shouldn't."

"It's either you, or I get Brynna in here to do it with me."

"UGH! Fine, I'll do it. When?"

"Well, I'm putting this video up today, but we can film it today, and I can upload it sometime next week."

"Okay, I guess. I'll do it. For you."

"Aww, shucks, thanks."

"What should I wear? I either need to go home, or steal your clothes."

"I can take you to your house quickly if you'd like," Dan said.

"Would you?"

"Yeah, let me just go get dressed."

"Thank you," I said, gratefully.

"So… what's it like?"

"I don't know, I guess you'll find out."

"Well… I might ruin your video because I'm me… but okay… I'll figure this out. I'm gonna go, I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, so dad…"

"What about him?"

"He tells me he has almost no money. I'm thinking about going to visit him… I feel bad for him… He tells me he's alone all the time…"

"Well, he probably shouldn't have left his family then, huh?"

"Be the bigger person. He may have left, but he doesn't deserve to just live alone forever and not remember anything happy…"

"You go, but you're not going alone, firstly, secondly, you're an idiot if you do. He's just going to use you. I really want you to think about this. Like take a few months of thinking on this. Don't just go schedule a ticket to go wherever the hell he is. Where is he?"

"Florida. Miami, I think is what he told me. I will ask him next time I talk to him."

"Okay, just be careful, Bianca… you already have enough problems as it is. I don't need him causing you more."

"Bianca?" Dan yelled, "You ready?"

"Coming! Bye, Beth! See you later!

I went out to the living room and slipped on the shoes that I brought with. Dan came out and we walked out. The elevator sucked major ass so we took the stairs. On the way down I decided to just ask him random questions.

"So, what's your favourite colour?"

"Black."

"I should have assumed that… with how much black stuff you have. Okay, movie?"

"I like a lot of movies, I probably couldn't choose just one. How about you?"

"Same. I like Clockwork Orange a lot, though."

"That movie… kinda fucked up."

"Fairly. But it's good… soooo…" I said, awkwardly. "Why are there so many stairs?"

"There's not even that many, you're just a baby."

"Hey now… Let's not be rude."

"I'm kidding, you should know that. I would tickle you, but we're walking down stairs, and I know you'd probably fall down and die, and I don't want that, so I will wait until we are on stable ground."

"Oh, such a saint, Daniel, such a saint."

"I know, I'm a good person." I chuckled a bit. "Hey, now! I am very good!"

"Debatable."

"Now you're gonna get it…"

"Wait, no please!"

"Too. Late."

"DAN!" He started to jog down the stairs, and I followed closely. "DAN! Please no!"

"Too bad! It's gonna happen!" He got to the end of the stairs and I did a few seconds later. I tried to run past him, but he managed to grab me around the waist, and held me tight to him.

"DAN! DANIEL, DON'T YOU DARE!" He did it. He tickled me. It wasn't the worst I've ever had, though. He did have me pinned. I was pinned against him, so I wasn't moving. He'd learned from the flailing limbs. My arms were pinned down, and he'd been managing to hold me down with one arm, just to show how weak I really was. My legs were flailing, but I couldn't really get them behind me. Like, I could, but my mind wouldn't let me. I don't know, my body instantly reacts out in front of me, I guess.

"PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! HAHAHA! I'M SORRY!"

"You'll have to apologize better than that! Beg!"

"PLEASE DAN!"

"I suppose…" He released me.

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"No problem… Don't sass me again! I HAVE POWER NOW!"

"Please, never again…"

"If you don't sass me, we won't have any problems, will we?"

"No… But… It's so fun…" we walked out of the building, and went to the parking lot of the apartments.

"No sassing me."

"You're acting like my parent…"

"Maybe I am your parent!"

"Mum or dad?"

"BOTH!"

"You're so odd," I said as I got in the little car that was my sisters. I kinda just assumed that they all shared it.

As we drove down the street we just continued rambling, you know, that rambling you do with people you hardly know but want to know? It was that. Mostly on my part. He would answer a few things, but I was mostly talking. I could start to tell I was feeling for this guy.

When we arrived at my house, I instantly went in. Dan followed, and I just told him to sit on the couch and wait for me to come back down.

I went up to my room and just grabbed a knee length navy blue skirt, a white t-shirt and a brown belt. I quickly put on the outfit, tucking in the white shirt, and doing the belt around the waist. I grabbed a pair of brown flats, and quickly brushed my hair and pulled it into a half pony. I went back down to Dan and we just left. No one was in my house. Brynna had school, and mum had work, so I would have just been alone anyways.

We hurried back to his flat and just went straight up, not much conversation happening. When we arrived back, Phil was making something in the kitchen, and Beth was sitting on the couch watching a show.

"See, Bianca, Phil's a great boyfriend. He's a pretty decent cook. I appreciate that so much. He's making me lunch right now while I just get to be lazy. That's the kind of man you want to look for, okay?"

"All right? Where did that come from? Just felt like rubbing it in a bit?"

"Just a bit. You'll find someone someday. I promise."

"Beth, why'd we get into this? This is so random…" When I said that she looked straight at Dan, who had a bit of a blush on his face.

"Let's change the topic…" He said, bashfully. I chuckled a bit and sat down next to Beth as Dan was called into the kitchen by Phil.

~DAN'S POV~

"Dan!" Phil called. Wanting to escape the situation, I went instantly. Thank God for Phil. Always knowing when to call me out of a room.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You do like her, don't you?"

"Maybe… I've known her for a day, okay? Wait, are you and Beth trying to hook us up?"

"Maaayyybeee! Dan, you're such a loner, and you two are so much alike it kinda hurts to see you not together."

"Okay, well, so what if I do like her. She'd never go for me. Never. A girl like that? Hell no. I mean, she's perfect."

"So, you do like her! I knew it! I could see it yesterday! It was love at first sight!"

"Okay… You're right… But I don't know how to go about this! She's different from all the other girls I've been interested in…"

"Take her to dinner tonight. After that, watch a movie or something. However you did it last night. You should have seen the smile she had on her face when she was cuddled up to you. Do that again, and I promise she's yours."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

~BIANCA'S POV~

"Soooo…" Beth said, slowly, boringly, and last, but not least, annoyingly.

"What now?"

"Do you like Dan?"

"What?!"

"Do. You. Like. Dan?"

"I don't know… I've known him for a day and hated him for a quarter of yesterday, remember?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

I didn't answer for a second. I needed to think carefully about how I answered the question.

"And what if I do?"

"Then… I'll help you get with him. Dan's easy going. You two are basically the same person… only… you have two things on your chest and he has one below…. BUT other than that the same."

"Okay, a better way of phrasing: You and Dan are basically the same person. You both have similar personalities and act with similar mannerisms. Wow! Look how easy that was."

"The way you both talk is all sciencey too…"

"Okay… So help me…I was rambling! Do you know how stupid I must have sounded?! There's no way someone like him would want to be with someone like me…look at me… and look at him… There's no way he'd take me."

"I think you'd be surprised. First off, you're beautiful and perfect and that's why we want to help you get out of the anorexia and bulimia thing. Secondly, Dan couldn't care about what you look like any less than he does now. He isn't based on that. He cares about how you act, and who you are."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."


	11. Chapter 11: Dinner Date

**WOW! I didn't die! So, since I've not been posting chapters, here's an extra long one. Almost 4,000 words. Hope y'all enjoy!**

"So what do I do then?"

"Hang out with him at any opportunity you have," Beth said.

"But… I'm so awkward…"

"So is Dan. That's how I know he won't care."

She did have a point there. Dan was fairly awkward. I could see it just from little interactions the day before.

"Okay… I'm trusting you."

"Your trust is not misplaced. You should go to the kitchen and get me something different to drink."

"Are you that lazy?"

"Just go… get me a coke."

I went to the kitchen to find Dan alone.

"Where's Phil?"

"Went to his room. Not sure why."

"Oh, okay. Well, Beth is a lazy bum so I need to get her a coke."

"Hey, Bianca?"

"Yes?"

"I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Well… are you busy tonight?"

"Nope, I have absolutely nothing planned. What's up?"

"Would you want to go get dinner with me?"

"Dan, I would love that. Really."

"You're sure?"

"Of course! I was… sorta hoping you'd ask me, so thanks for asking."

"What time you want to go? And where?"

"I don't care about either."

"Five?"

"Great, and yes."

"Awesome. You don't need to change or anything, right?"

"Nope, I'm good like this. Basically we can just hang out until then. "

"Basically," He said, grabbing a coke from the fridge.

"OH CRAP! BETH I'M COMING!" I grabbed a coke out of the fridge and ran it out to her quickly."I'm sorry!"

"Stop apologizing, you twat. You took a few minutes, but I didn't choke or anything. I literally have a glass of water right next to me."

"Stillllll…"

"You didn't even need to bring it to me honestly, I just wanted you to go in by Dan."

"What?"

"Obviously me and Phil planned this."

"I hate you so much sometimes. But… thank you, so much."

"No problem, punk." I walked back into the kitchen, but saw that Dan wasn't in there anymore. I went to his room to see if he went in there, and surely he did.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

"Not sure. Maybe watching a movie? Or youtube? Or I don't know…"

"Well, I want to take a nap, so either I take it in here, or I go out in the living room and sleep. I don't really care which, so I'm giving you the decision."

"Come fall asleep to a movie then."

"Okay, scoot over." He did and I laid down next to him, head on his shoulder. I saw that he googled a restaurant to make reservations for it, which he was conveniently able to do right online. He went to Netflix and clicked a random movie that I'd never seen before. But, I did say that I wanted to sleep, and that's what I did. I set an alarm on my phone for an hour and a half and cuddled up to Dan.

I fell asleep almost instantly, seeing a bit of the intro to the movie.

There were no dreams at all, per usual. I never, ever dreamed about anything. It was just something that my mind wouldn't do, or at least let me remember. They were never deemed important memories for my brain to keep, I guess. The nap was probably the best one I'd had in a long time, though, which was great.

My alarm went off and I felt Dan jolt awake. I felt him reach over and shut off the alarm. I opened my eyes lightly and saw that the laptop was pushed off to the side of the bed. In my sleep I wrapped my arm around Dan. I just closed my eyes again and tried to fall back asleep. I, of course, couldn't, at least not right away. There were times when my body was totally cool with me sleeping, and others when it just wouldn't be having it. Sadly, this was one of the times it just wasn't having it. I let out an 'ugh', and opened my eyes. I sat up and looked at Dan.

"You okay?" Dan asked.

"I don't want to wake up…"

"It's two now, so if you don't want to yet, you can sleep for another hour. I want to."

"I'll try… I don't know if I'll be able to." I laid back down, resting my head on his shoulder again, only this time his arm wrapped around me.

"So, anything else you want to do tonight?" He asked through a yawn.

"I don't mind what we do. Honestly, it can be anything."

"Wanna just come back here and watch a movie or something then? Maybe go see one if anything tickles your fancy?"

"Sure, I'm down for it."

"Awesome," he said, "Let's try to sleep a bit more though." It honestly didn't take much longer after that for me to pass back out.

I opened my eyes, looking at the clock and seeing that it was four. I sat up quickly and shook Dan to wake him up.

"It's four already. You said dinner was at five right?"

"Yep, thanks for waking me up," He said as he stretched his arms out.

"You don't need to get ready or anything right? I don't know how long boys take to do that."

"I just need to fix my hair a bit. You wanna walk or should we drive?"

"Either, I don't care. How far away is it?"

"A few blocks away."

"Oh, maybe we should just walk then…"

"Fine with me."

I stood up and Dan followed. I sat back on his bed while he fixed all the stuff he needed to. I grabbed my phone and started looking at all my social media. I opened instagram first to see that I was tagged in a picture. I looked at it and saw that it was one of Dan and I cuddled up on his bed. It was posted twenty minutes prior to me seeing it. The caption said, "Look how precious these two are!" I heard Dan gasp from the other side of the room.

"Did you see instagram?" I asked.

"Yep… Who does Beth think she is just posting stuff like this?"

"It's pretty cute, though… but not her place to post crap like that. At this point people will have seen it so there's no sense in taking it down either…"

"You know what, let's just enjoy tonight."

"My issue is until that post went up no one knew who I was.. Unless she's been posting pictures of me a lot on other social media I'm not on… Maybe she did on instagram… I didn't follow her on this one, only her private one…"

"It's fine. She hasn't up until this point."

"Okay… I'm just going to let it be… I need to pee."

I got up and went to the toilet,tried to puke, but failed, and then the bathroom (Yes, two totally separate rooms). I looked in the mirror to see that my hair was a total wreck. I fixed it quickly and went back in his room.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yep. We can go whenever."

"Well, it's only 4:15, so you want to go just sit at a bar, or do you want to go to a store for a bit."

"Well… I could go for some wine..."

"Well, then, let's go."

We went to the living room and Beth and Phil were both sitting on the couch, watching a movie.

"We're going out," Dan said.

"You kids have fun, and don't get too crazy!" Beth said excitedly.

"Shut up…" I said, grabbing Dan's hand and walking out the door. "She treats me like a kid. I'm so sick of it. "

We went down to the car, and Dan drove us to the small resteraunt. We went in and went straight to the bar. I got a glass of wine. Dan got some sort of cocktail. I didn't know what it was, so I kept looking at it.

"You wanna taste it?"

I looked at him, hesitently reaching my hand out. He put the drink in my hand and I took a sip. It was really good, not too strong. I liked it… quite a bit. He told me what it was. I don't really remember though. (**Or there's the fact that I literally don't drink anything other than wine coolers and schmirnoff ice and don't drink cocktails… but shhhh… she forgot…**)

"You want one?"

"No, I got the wine, I'm good. Thanks though."

"When do you want to eat?"

"Whenever, really, I don't mind. We can eat in five minutes or an hour. Maybe, like, half an hour?"

"Sure, that works."

"Cool, so, youtube, huh?"

"Mhm."

"So, do you have like, crazy fans that try to follow you everywhere?"

"There used to be a few, but they've kinda backed off a bit. And they never really stalked me to the point of showing up at my door."

"Like… what would they do?"

"Well, I would slip up in a live stream or whatever. They would learn where I was going after the stream or whatever and meet me there. Nothing crazy. It didn't really terrify me or anything."

"Oh… so if I did something like that… I wouldn't need to be too worried?"

"If I looked like you I would be…" He said quietly.

"What does that mean?"

"What? Oh… well, look at me, I'm average, but you're so gorgeous, you'll probably have a lot of creeps around you."

"I'm not that pretty, Dan. I'm average."

"So… we're two completely average looking people on a date right now."

"Not just a normal date… an… average date."

"Ooooh, we're completely ordinary. That's honestly one thing that really pisses me off. People think that just because I'm a youtuber that my life is instantly perfect. No. It's literally crap sometimes because you know what? That's how life is. Everyone has shit that happens every once in a while."

"Of course. People think that once you have what they want, that your life instantly gets better. You can be freaking Brad Pitt and your life can still be crap. Just because you're 'famous' doesn't mean your life gets easier. That's the issue with people who want to be youtubers. If they think their life is hard without fame, then they are in for a big surprise when they get it."

"You know, for someone who's never had a youtube channel, you're quite educated on it."

"It's obvious… like, this isn't that hard to figure out, honestly. You just need to think about it. Like, either you need to keep your life a lie and have everyone think you're the happiest person ever, or tell everyone about it. You have two options. That's it."

"That's true though. There's hardly a happy medium. "

"I think there can be. It's hard, but it's possible."

Dan asked for a table, and got us both another drink. They took us to a table. The waiter left us menus and I looked at the price. My mouth dropped open.

"Dan, this is so expensive… I can't afford this…"

"Well, I was planning on paying for you… it's a date and all…"

"OH! Wait, I have my card on me, I can just put it on that."

"You're not paying for yourself."

"Dan… this is too much money, and the drinks… "

"I got this. Okay?"

"Bu-"

"No 'But'. I got this."

"Really? But… this isn't fair… I'll get the next one…"

"That's fine. But I'm getting this one."

"Fine… I guess.

I had just ordered a salad. We ate, talked more, and kept drinking.

"I should probably go stay at my house soon. My mum's probably missing having me around."

"Really? I can take you back after this."

"No. I want to go back with you. I can go home tomorrow night."

"You sure? If she's missing you…"

"I'm an adult. I can decided where to stay myself."

"Whatever you say. You can decide."

"Well, I want to go back to your place. Let's watch a movie or something." My ring tone started to go off. It was Bill. "Sorry, I have to take this."

"Bill, what's up?" I asked.

"Cas went into labour an hour ago. She wants you here, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, let me just tell Dan, and I'll be right over in about twenty minutes."

"See you soon."

I hung up and sighed. "Dan, I gotta get to the hospital. Cas, my brothers wife, is in labour. She asked for me to be there. Can you take me over there?"

"Yeah, let's get our food and get it to go, okay?"

"All right, I told him twenty minutes, so it's fine."

"Awesome. I'll just drop you off, okay? You want to stop at my place and get comfier clothes?"

"Yeah, but I don't have anything there…"

"You can just use some of my stuff. I have sweat pants and a hoodie that you can use. "

"That would be wonderful, thank you. I can just take some of Beth's flip flops, too."

The waiter brought our food and Dan asked for boxes for us. He brought them and Dan paid the bill. We went to the car and started driving back to Dan's house.

"Sorry this night is coming to such an abrupt end."

"It's fine, Bianca, really. Your sister in law needs you there. Are you two pretty close?" He asked as we pulled up to his apartment.

"Yeah, ever since they were dating. Like, we love each other. It's not like we hang out all the time, but we're like, best friends, well next to me and Izzy. But, she knows like everything about me." I said as we walked to the lift, which actually decided to work for us.

"That's nice though."

"Yeah, I'm so excited for this baby. Cas is going to be a great mom. Babies are great and I hope to have on someday."

"I think that a lot of people want that, I know I want to be a dad. I'm just afraid I'll fuck up the babies life."

"I think you'd make a good Dad." He opened the apartment door and we went to his room. Phil and Beth weren't there. I decided to text her and ask her where she was. An instant reply said that her and Phil were on their way to the hospital as well.

"Dan, you wanna come with?"

"To the hospital?"

"Yeah, why not? You wouldn't need to be in there or anything, I wouldn't be in there the whole time either. And even if I was, Phil is there."

"Oh, I mean, I guess I can, if you want me to go with you."

"I would like that. Quite a bit, actually."

"Okay, well, why don't we change, then we can head over."

"Okay, sounds good." Dan dug around in his drawers, and pulled out two pairs of sweatpants, a couple of t-shirts, and two sweatshirts.

"Do you care which ones you get?"

"Nope. You choose first, they're your clothes."

The one's that I got were a high neck sweatshirt, but the neck was baggy, gray sweatpats, and a random t-shirt, just plain black.

I went to Beth's room and grabbed a pair of flip flops. Dans clothes ver very baggy on me. His being six feet tall made his clothes a lot bigger than me. I had to pull the draw string of his really tight. Everything else stayed in place though, which was nice.

"Ready to go?" I asked him. He nodded and we both walked back out to the car. He drove us to the hospital. I went in and asked for the room number and we went right up to the room. I knocked a few times, and Bill opened the door.

"Hey, guys, everyone's in here, come on in."

We walked in, and everyone was sitting on the small couch provided in the room. Cas was lying on the bed, covered in sweat.

"Hey Cas," I said. "How's baby?"

"Clawing her way out," she said tiredly.

"The doctor said she's three centimetres dialated," Bill said.

"Seven more," mum said.

Cas let out a little moan, which I assumed to be a contraction. Bill was instantly by her bed, holding her hand.

Dan and I brought our food in, since we didn't eat dinner. There was only one spot to sit, though.

"Dan, you can sit there."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead," I said. The second he sat down, I sat on his lap. He looked at me. "I never said I wouldn't use you as a chair…" He shrugged his shoulders.

Cas sat up and looked at us. "So, are you two already a thing? Because I'm okay with this." I looked at Dan, who was blushing a bit. I blushed too.

"Cas, aren't you supposed to be in excrutiating pain?" I asked, with a smirk on my face.

"Oh, right, let me continue."

I opened my box of salad and started munching on it.

"It's nice to see you eating, Bianca," mum said.

"It's not like I didn't eat at all, mum… and this has basically nothing… I'm not fully better… not over night."

"I know… but you're making progress though."

"I am. And I hope to continue it."

"That looks really good…" Dan said.

"Here, try some, it's just salad though, it's nothing spectacular." I held up a forkful to him. He got some lasagna, which looked good as well, but I didn't eat any at that moment.

"Its good though. What dressing did they put on that?"

"I don't even know. I just saw salad and ordered it honestly…"

"We can go back sometime and ask, I guess."

"I'd like that."

A while passed before Cas was ready to push. I stayed, and Dan, Beth, and Phil went back to their house. Mum took Brynna home, and I stayed with Bill and Cas.

"How you doing, Cassidy?" A nurse asked as she walked in.

"I'm okay, kinda thirsty though."

"I'll come back with some more water for you."

"Thanks."

I kept texting Dan, while Cas was waiting for the doctor to come in.

"The doctor will be in any minute." Bill said.

"Why did this have to happen so late at night? Like, I could have handled two o'clock, or even four, but seven? It had to start at seven… I think this baby hates me."

"Did you guys decide what you were going to name her?"

"Well… I liked the name Meredith, and Bill likes your middle name, so we decided on Meredith Celeste."

"I love it. I might need to call her Mere (Mary) for short… Meredith is a mouthful."

"I guess we'd be okay with that. " Cas said, laying back down, she tensed up. The doctor came in minutes later and checked how dialated she was.

"Do you feel the urge to push?"

"Very much so." Cas said quite loudly. I could tell she just wanted the baby out.

"Good news, it's time. Mrs. Daniels, you're possibly the most calm I've seen anyone at this time of labour."

"Can we just get this baby out of me? It's been a long nine months."

"Sorry, sorry, okay. Just do what your body is telling you to do then." And so, she pushed…. And pushed…. And pushed…. And pushed… until finally, there were cries from a baby.

"Congratulations, it's a baby girl."

"She's so perfect," I said in awe. They cleaned her up and gave her to Cas, then Bill.

"Bianca, do you want to hold her?" I nodded slosly. Bill brought her over to me.

"Bill, she's so beautiful… I love her so much..." I held her close to me. She started crying after a minute, and went straight back to Cas, who looked extremely tired.

"We can take her for the night if you'd like us to," a nurse said. "You need to get your rest. You must stay here for two days, just so we can monitor you and make sure everything is okay."

"That's fine. I would like that… thank you guys…" They changed her room so she wouldn't be on the same bed that all her…. Goo was on… I texted Dan and asked him if he'd be willing to come get me and sure enough, he was there in five minutes.

"Is everything okay with the baby?" He asked as I climbed into the car.

"She's perfect. Everything is perfect about her."

"Perfect. I'm glad. You want me to take you to my house or yours?"

"Yours is fine. I'm so tired I could just crash on the street, honestly."

"Then get out. Gosh, why'd you call me if you could pass out on the street?"

"Because I'd rather not get raped tonight."

"Oh… this just got real."

"Sorry, but they couldn't have put the hospital in a more ghetto area. It's amazing how five minutes can change the area of town. Now, let's go."

Dan drove us to his apartment. We went in and I sat on the couch.

"We should watch a movie or something."

"Well, you can come in my room because I was just gonna go to bed. We can watch one on my laptop."

"Whatever, I'm down." I got up and we went to his room. He took off his shirt and laid on his bed he pulled his laptop out and went to netflix. I sat on his bed next to him. I was a bit hesitant to lie down, but I did.

"I still can't believe I'm an aunt…"


	12. Chapter 12: Somewhat Awkward

Dan and I stayed up for a bit longer. We just watched a random movie. I fell asleep within about thirty minutes of it, and i don't know how long Dan was up for. I didn't really dream anything, yet again. I never dream and I hate it.

I woke up the next morning to my text tone. A text from Bill saying thanks for being there and that in the next couple of days i was welcome to visit the baby and Cas at the hospital. It was then, after i read the text, that i realized i was tightly held to Dan. We were basically spooning, but i didn't really care. I enjoyed it quite a bit, actually.

Every time I was near Dan, i just felt this unexplainable joy. He made me feel happy, like I didn't need to change who I was. I didn't make myself puke at all the previous day. Who was I with all day? Dan. The only term that could come to mind kept being the same one. Love. Love kept popping in. But surely I couldn't love him already. Beth knew more than she'd been putting off though. If she could see that I liked him, then surely soon she will be able to see that I love him, should that be the case, which I was sure it was.

I blushed, hard. Love. I never wanted to really experience it yet, but even so, he probably would never feel the same, like sure he liked me and all... but he would never really love me. If anything, I would be a fling. Then some pretty girl would come around and he'd just dump me. I wasn't really nervous for that. I knew it was inevitable. The inevitable didn't scare me as much as the unknown. If I know he's going to get rid of me, I'm fine with it. I just enjoy what I have when I have it.

I felt Dan shuffle behind me, and he pulled me tighter to him. I smiled, and fell back asleep. I was like that for another two hours. I woke up because Dan decided to pull away. I let out a little groan.

"Why? Just stay in bed all day."

"I have to do stuff... I would rather stay in bed all day."

"I need to go home and change anyways... I'll go now, and be back soon."

"If you want to take the car, I'm sure Beth wouldn't care."

"I'm good, i can walk. Thanks, though." I got up and just left, wearing the big, baggy clothes. I took the walk home comfortably, no one even looking at me, since I looked completely asexual. I hurried into the house, and instantly went up to shower. I took a pretty long shower. When I was done I just did my simple makeup, brushed my hair, and dried it. I put on a short, black, lace skirt, and a white crop top. I put a sweatshirt over the top to make it a bit more modest, and i was on my way back to Dan's.

This walk back was quite a bit different. I got stares from people. Men, women, boys, girls. Whispers like, "She's asking for it." A few vulgar comments, that i just did my best to ignore. I didn't want to hear any of it. I'm a firm believer in the fact that women should be allowed to wear what they want without fear of anyone touching them. If a woman wants to run around half naked, so be it. They don't deserve anything.

I zipped the sweatshirt fully and hurried back to Dan's. I went up to the flat and Dan let me in. He was dressed in his usual all dark clothing.

"Did you eat lunch yet?" I asked. He shook his head no. "Want me to make you anything to eat?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I could really go for grilled cheese."

"That's fine, I can make that," I said as I took off Dan's sweatshirt. I went to the kitchen and started to make two, one for him, one for me. They aren't that hard, so i just did a normal grilled cheese sandwich and looked in the fridge for anything to put on the side to add some flavour. Salsa. I found salsa, and it made me happy. Salsa is so good like really, if you don't like it you're crazy.

I took that out to Dan, who was sitting in the living room, laptop on, pressing buttons wildly.

"What are you doing?"

"Editing a video I filmed, like, a week ago. I really need to get one up."

"Oh, that's fine. Here's your food."

"Thanks," he said, leaning over, and then kissing my cheek. His face instantly turned red. So did mine, I'm sure. "S-sorry, I don't know why I did that." _I could kiss him. _That was the first thought that popped into my head. I leaned back toward him, slowly. He kept giving me an apologetic look, but when he noticed I was moving in for the kill, he started leaning toward me too. It was an awkward couple of seconds, so I just sped up and kissed him. That was my first kiss. Ever, not just with Dan. I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something wrong. Like, I'm sure it sucked. Great on my side, I was kissing Dan, but he was stuck with me.

He picked up the pace a bit, making it a bit more passionate. We did that for another two minutes. He pulled away and took the laptop off his lap. He kissed me again, only this time he laid me back on the couch. He had full control of the situation, but I wouldn't let it go too far. And, once it felt like too much, I pulled away.

"That was... fun," I said awkwardly. "So... Sorry, but... Can I take that as we both like each other more than 'friends'. That sounded so childish, oh my god."

"I think we can take it that way."

"So... where are we going from here?"

"Well, we can date, like be boyfriend and girlfriend, we can keep it a secret from everyone, or we can just keep doing what we are doing."

"Beth and Phil would be so disappointed if we didn't."

"Did you know they were trying to set us up together too?"

"Of course. Beth told me. Did Phil tell you?"

"Yeah. Beth told you?"

"Yep. Those little sneaks. When you went to the kitchen Beth told me that I should hang out with you. She saw that I liked you."

"Phil told me to ask you out when he called me to the kitchen. They were planning it the whole time."

"Literally the whole time... It did work though... Maybe we owe them... Without them I'd probably still hate you. So... are we... dating?"

"You really hated me, didn't you?"

"Here's the thing that I don't get. Right when you showed up I just felt this need to either hate or love you. I guess i chose hate right away. I thought you were stalking me. Really. LIke, felt like you follwed me to the coffee shop, and then to my house? Like, sorry, but that really was sketchy to me. "

"But then you opened up to me when we played Mario Kart, which reminds me, we need a rematch."

"You want to lose again?"

"I went easy on you."

"I'm calling bullshit."

"Well, we can play now."

"Eh... Maybe tomorrow?"

"What, Bianca, you scared?"

"No, just not in a Karting kind of mood."

"Fine. What do you want to do?"

"I want you to answer the question... Are we dating?"

"Are we? You haven't asked... I haven't asked... "

"Well, go on then."

"Bianca Daniels, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, I would be honored."

"There, does that answer the question?"

"Yes, it does."

"Now, what do you want to do?"

"Hmmm... well, I want to cook dinner. And while I do that, you edit your video and put that up like you said you'd be doing. Like you were doing... Until our faces high-fived." He laughed at that comment.

"Our faces high-fived? I like that."

"Good. Wanna do it again?"

"I would, but as you said, I have to edit a video."

"True... and I want to make food for dinner. What do you want?"

"Hmmm... Tacos."

"Tacos it is." The next hour of going to the store and buying all the stuff was pretty uneventful. When I walked through the door, a thought popped into my head.

"Dan?" I asked.

"What's up?"

"If I wanted to go about making a youtube channel... how would I do it?"

"Are you serious? This is great. First, come up with a nonstupid name for your channel. "

"Bianca Daniels?"

"It's not stupid. But try to be creative."

"Ummm... Bianca Daniels 94? Bianca Celeste?"

"Celeste's your middle name, isn't it? Do what you want that you know you won't regret. You won't regret your name."

"That's true. I'd probably just do Bianca Celeste. Now, I can let you use my stuff, we could take it to your house so people don't accuse you of using me for subscribers because people are good at that. You can make a video, post it, and boom, you got a running youtube channel."

"Tomorrow?"

"Can't. Busy tomorrow. You staying here again tonight?"

"I don't want to basically be living here, but yes. I'll probably go home tomorrow for good."

"Oh... I completely forgot to ask you... Speaking of tomorrow..."

"What's up?"

"There's this party... At my friend Zoe's in Brighton, and I was wondering... would you want to come with?"

"Big party?"

"Honestly, just a few friends watching movies, out to dinner. "

"Oh, yeah, sure. And how many?"

"Nine, that includes you and I, Phil and Beth."

"Oh, that's fine, I can do that. Over night?"

" Yeah, it is. We got hotel rooms. All right, thanks. Can't wait."

"But you have to come to my family reunion thing."

"Deal."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I basically just told you I want to introduce you to my family and you were like, whatever about it."

"Why would I freak out about it? You should meet my parents some time."

"Okay. I'm down. When?"

"I'll ask my mum."

"We just started dating, are you sure you want me to meet your mum so soon?"

"Why not? We weren't even dating when I met yours."

"Touche. So... are we going, like, 'facebook official'? Not that that makes anything more official than us just saying it, just wondering."

"I'd have to add you."

"Wait, this one's not you?" I said, pulling out my phone, showing him a profile I added of him.

"No, I have a super private one that no one believes is me. I'll add you right now."

"It's Bianca Celeste, not Bianca Daniels." I said as I deleted the other profile from my friends. "Dan... Why am I making such a big meal if I'm not even hungry right now?"

"Because you have to eat or your mum and sister will have my head."

"But... fine..."

I added him under my new request and added in the relationship. He accepted and boom, facebook official. First comment, instantly, from my best friend Izzy.

_WHAT THE HELL I'M CALLING YOU RIGHT NOW!_

Sure enough, my phone started to sing out One Direction's song "You and I", my and Izzy's song. I answered, and was greeted by her enthusiastic yelling.

"WHAT YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND? WHY WAS I NOT THE FIRST TO KNOW!? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN EVEN BEFORE THIS DAN!"

"Izzy! Calm down! I'll tell you about it tonight, I'm busy right now."

"You and your new boy toy about to get it on?"

"IZZY!"

"What?"

"Don't." Izzy is so open about sexuality, and there I was just an asexual thing floating around like whatever.

"Sorry, sorry, forgot you're awkward about sex." Dan was sitting on the couch still, and I sat on the opposite side of it.

"Izzy, we are not having," I lowered my voice to a whisper, "We're not having sex, okay?" Dan looked over and chuckled.

"No we are not, far too soon for this!" Dan yelled, loud enough for Izzy to hear.

"Fine, I'll let you kids get back to whatever boring crap you do. I have to study for a test tomorrow anyways."

"Okay! LOVE YOU!"

"LOVE YOU MORE!" I hung up.

"That was a conversation, wasn't it?" Dan asked. "Your friend is very... open."

"She is, and I love her for it. She's such a good person. You get one hundred percent real with her. She's open because she doesn't care. She is what I aim to be, I guess. And... I mean, it's 2013, it's not bad to be open about anything. At least it shouldn't be."

"I'm not denying that, just pointing it out."

"I should probably tell my mum that I'm not going to be at home tomorrow. I'm probably going to spend the night at home then."

"That's okay. I'm getting our train tickets. I started uploading the video, and then we can eat whenever you're ready."

"I'm gonna go finish making you dinner, I'll eat here too, then I'll go home. Are Beth and Phil here?"

"No, they went to your mum's house for lunch because your mum wanted to talk to them about caring for you if you're going to be here all the time."

"I wish she wouldn't do that... I'm not an infant."

"At least she cares."

"Why wouldn't she at least have me go, too?"

"Because we told her not to. I did too, not just Phil and Beth. We knew you'd fight it, just by how much you were arguing at dinner. You'd try to convince everyone you were fine, and we wouldn't believe you, and you'd run away from it all."

"I- That may be true, but still. It's the principle of the thing. I should be aware of people talking about me." I said, fakely pouting.

"Blah, blah, blah, Bianca."

"Don't 'blah, blah, blah,' me. Whatever, I'm gonna go finish those tacos." I said, walking back to the kitchen.


	13. Chapter 13: Girls Night

**To make up for all the missed updates, here, have two tonight. I've been busy working a lot of overtime for work... Because of how short staffed my nursing home is... So, sorry, this is literally the first night I've had off in about a month. I've been writing what I can, so here it is. The past two are what I have. I may not be working tomorrow night either, so I may be able to post another chapter as well. I do work in the morning though... ugh... life is so hard when you have to "adult". I still live with my parents... But I has to make money still... Adulting is hard... But it's a good thing I love my job so much. So that's a little update on my life as well. So there we go. Enjoy this chapter (and hope you enjoyed the last). And, Good night! **

I finished the tacos and we sat down to eat. I didn't eat as much, but that's just because I literally wasn't hungry at all. Dan tried to get me to eat more, but I just replied with a glare. He just backed off on the subject. I reminded him he should be glad that I was eating at all.

He decided to walk me home. We were having small talk while walking down the busy street, but then an idea popped in my head. I put my hand in my purse and pulled it out, putting it in front of Dan.

"Can you hold this for me?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," He held out his hand and I put my hand in his, holding on. He chuckled. "Cute," He said as he grabbed a tighter hold. "What am I going to do when you're not at my house?"

"Watch movies like you usually do? Because you're lazy?"

"Well, you're not wrong."

"See, I already know you too well. We're a good match."

"Well, what are you going to d do without me?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Tumblr, probably. Just Tumblr." We got to my house and went inside.

"Tumblr... just tumblr... and you call me lazy."

"Hey, my finger gets a work out. When you watch a movie you just sit there."

"True... but-... I have no argument to that..."

"Alright... well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning. "

"Yep, bye." He said as he hugged me. "See you tomorrow." He left quickly, and I went up to my room. I packed quickly for the trip, but I forgot to ask how long we were spending in Brighton, so I quickly texted Dan and asked. He replied, telling me two nights, three days. It was five, so I decided to go on tumblr.

Not going to lie, it was a little boring. Hanging out with someone for about four days and going to one night away kind of sucks. Like, it's not the end of the world, but it does kind of suck. I heard the door open downstairs, and went down to see if it was mum. When I got downstairs it was Beth, crying on the couch.

"Beth?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, Bianca, hi. It's nothing."

"I think it's something. Come on, tell me."

"Well... Phil and I got in a bit of a fight."

"What about?"

"Well... He asked me to move in."

"That's a wonderful thing!"

"Not when he still wants to live with Dan..."

"Oh..."

"And if I'm making that big of a step in a relationship, then I'm doing it with just us two. Not with Dan as well. Dan is great, don't get me wrong there, but I just... I want this to be something with just PHil and I. And Phil made it seem as though I was making him choose between me and Dan."

"And you wouldn't do that... anyone who knows you knows you wouldn't do that."

"Of course not..."

"So, what do you want me to do?"

"There's not much you can do... It's just... today was so wonderful. We were talking with mum and joking about marriage, but I love him and I hope that's our future... But I don't know if it will be with this argument... He seemed really cross..."

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"I want to keep this between Phil and I. It's our relationship."

"I get that... But there's nothing wrong with asking for help. So, howabout we go to your place and have a girls night? Watch a chick flick or something and eat all sorts of bad food. I'd be willing to do that for you. I've already packed for tomorrow, so I will just bring that with."

"Why'd you pack for tomorrow? Are you coming with to Zoe's?"

"Mhm! Dan asked me to come."

"Oh, okay, make sure you bring a nice dress. We're going out to dinner. And super lazy clothes. We're watching movies and playing random games after."

"Come up to my room and help me pick one." We went up to my room and she st on my bed and started browsing on her phone. I started going through all my fancy dresses and started pulling a few out.

"You and Dan are already dating? And I find out through facebook?"

"Ummm... yes... Sorry about that..."

"You know, Phil and I set you two up and you don't even tell us in person?"

"Whatever... which one? Plum, lavender, pink, or blue?"

"Is the pink one the one with the big bow on the back?"

"Yes."

"That one, silver heels, we'll do your nails later." I put it on a hanger and it a dress bag. Once we were done, we took the bags down and put them in her car. We drove to her house and put them in, and then went to go get food.

"What color should my nails be?" I asked.

"Silver is good. I was thinking pink polka dots or something like that too. Or the other way around. Pink with silver polka dots might be good too."

"Just do what you want to do with my nails. I'll leave that up to you."

"Sounds good. As long as you do my makeup for tomorrow."

"I think we have a deal. NOW GET ME THE TESERS!"

"We can get you the tesers. " We got all the snacks we wanted for the night and went back to her house. We went up to her room and I sat on her bed while she got her facial stuff out in the bathroom. Once it was out, she turned on some music and started to put on a mask. I went in by her and did the same, and then once it was all put on we went into her room.

She pulled out a camera and started talking. "Hey, guys! Tonight I'm hanging out with my sister, Bianca! We are having a girls night and I'm pretty excited considering it's the night before we go visit Zoe! Are you excited!?"

I looked at the camera, confused.

"Oh, sorry, we're vlogging. As you probably know, Bianca doesn't do youtube. But she's so freaking funny I want her to make one. If you guys agree make sure to give this video a like and comment down below! So, are you excited?"

"I guess. I have to be stuck with you all day, but that's a small price to pay for a party..."

"Wooowww... So mean Bianca, you hurt me..."

"Nooooo... I love youuuu!"

"Are you excited to meet new people?"

"When someone like me with all sorts of anxiety, social anxiety being pretty bad for me, meeting new people is one of my favorite activities. But, it's going to be a party, and we all know that I'm a party. So this party will probably be the party of the century."

"What? I'm excited. I love party Bianca."

"Party Bianca don't love you. Nooo... she does..."

"You apologize too much." She said that right before turning off the camera. "So, wanna watch vampire diaries?"

"Whatever you wa-" I was cut off by her phone ringing.

"It's Phil..."

"ANSWER IT!"

She answered with a soft 'hello'.

"I'm sorry, Beth." Phil said quickly.

"You are forgiven."

"It was that easy?"

"Phil... I wouldn't try to split you and Dan up... I couldn't do that to you... That's such a... such a 'Camille' thing to do..." I was so confused by that, but I didn't really care.

"I know, and I was an idiot... I actually talked to Dan about it and he called me stupid at least nine times. " Dan started texting me asking if Phil and Beth were okay. I replied with a yes, and Beth kept talking to Phil as she started doing my nails.

"We're okay... We can wait on it for a while... Okay? I'm hanging out with Bianca right now, WHO IS DATING DAN BY THE WAY DID HE TELL YOU BECAUSE I HAD TO FIND OUT BY FACEBOOK!"

"DAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

"Phiiiiiiilllll..." I hear from the background. "I figured Bianca and I would say it together, but then she decided to go home. Sooo... we couldn't really... so I figured I wouldn't say anything."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!"

"Oooorrr it can be Dan and my business because it's our relationship, not yours."

"This is a conversation..." Dan said.

"It really is... How about we not." I said.

"FINE!" Beth yelled. "Okay, we're having a girls night, we'll see you two in the morning."

"Goodnight, ladies!" Phil said, hanging up.

"So, how do you feel about you and Dan?"

"Well..." I was conflicted. I didn't know whether i should have told her that I thought I loved him or not. I decided to tell her, though. "I think I love him."

"Okay, That's how I was with Phil."

"Within the first few days?"

"Mhm. You're not crazy, you're okay."

"So... when did you say it to Phil first?"

"A month in."

"So you wouldn't recommend I say it... let's say... tomorrow?"

"Do what you want to do. Just because I did it one way doesn't mean I was right and you would be wrong. It's just different preferences."

"Why are you of no help?"

"Because this is your path to take, not mine. I can't do this for you. And as you said, this is your and Dan's relationship, so I'm staying out of it."

"I hate you when you're right, you know that right?"

"So you always hate me?"

"SHUT. UP."


	14. Chapter 14: Camille

I woke up early the next morning. Like, early early. Like, 6 am early. I went to the bathroom, and leaned over the toilet. I ate so much the night before... And I felt sick. Maybe my body was faking it, who knows. But I was legitimately sick. I probably puked out all of the contents of my stomach, but I felt instantly better. I decided to try to sleep again, but failed, so I just took a shower and got dressed. I put on flowerly leggings and a cat sweater. Because that's how I roll. I put my hair in pigtails and went back into Beth's room and sat on her bed. I started channel surfing.

Beth woke up at about 9 and took a long shower. I kept watching TV to make the time go by a lot faster and it worked, because before I knew it, it was time to pick up the boys. WE picked them up and were off to the train. I was in the back by Dan and Phil and Beth were in the front.

"How was girls night?" Dan asked.

"It was great, We did facials and and nails. Watched some Vampire Diaries. Just had a good time." Dan's phone buzzed. "Dan, is that Camille?"

"Camille?" I asked.

"Obsessd with Dan. What'd she say?" Beth asked.

"'When you gonna get here bitch i miss you.' CAN YOU NOT?"

"Can she not? You've got me now. You don't need a side hoe."

"I don't want a side hoe, and if I did, I wouldn't choose Camille..."

"She better cut the shit, because I'm gonna beat her."

"When Bianca gets mad, she gets mad." Beth said.

My anxiety started rising, none-the-less. Knowing there were be such a negative presence made me nervous. But I would have Dan with me. So I knew I would be fine. We arrived at the station and got on the train. Beth started vlogging.

"Bianca, are you excited to meet all our favourite people?"

"I guess. It's new people. Oh, right I need to be enthusiastic... Whooohooo new people so excited." I said, unenthusiastically.

"You sound so excited... so excited. Well, I'm so excited because I get to see Zoeeeeeeeee."

"Why aren't you excited?" Phil asked.

"What if they hate me?" I asked.

"You're great. They will love you." Dan said.

"WHAT IF I'M ANNOYING?!"

"You're not... until you think you're annoying..."

"I accept that. You should show me some of their videos."

"Who's first?"

"Camille's?"

"Sure, I can show you that." He put the playlist on shuffle.

"NOT THIS VIDEOOO!"

It was called "What I look for in Men." She was lovely, though, physically. She had a perfect body. She was thin, but not so thin she looked unhealthy. She actually had muscle on her. Her long blond hair framing her face perfectly. Natural makeup. She looked gorgeous... and then there was me.

"She's very pretty..."

"Bianca, you don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying..." I said.

"Hello everyone!" She said in her intro. "Today I'm talking about what I look for in men. Now, first is that he's got to be tall. I'm tall, so he just has to be taller than me. Somewhere in the 6 foot tall area." Sounds like Dan to me... "Fringed hair is great too. I love the way it frames people's faces, so that is very important." Sounds like Dan... and she's a shallow little fuck. "Wears all black. I think opposites attract and someone who wears all black is the exact opposite of me." cough, cough... Danielll...

I just started laughing. "She is so obvious! She wasn't even trying to be though! That's what bothers me so much about it!" The rest of the ride was me watching the rest of the youtubers videos, making the train ride go a lot faster. We got a cab and went straight to the hotel after we arrived Dan and I took our bags into our room, while Beth and Phil went into the room right next to ours. There was a door connecting in, but we just kept that shut.

The rooms lay out was so cute too. There was a bedroom with a king sized bed. There was a living room that was connected to the little kitchen. That was the first thing that you saw when you'd walk in. It had a little couch in front of the TV. Then there was a bathroom right outside of the bedroom door.

I decided that I needed to get my makeup done quickly. "Zoe's going to be here in about twenty minutes. We are going over so you can meet everyone, otherwise we would just sit here and do nothing."

"Ugh... I guess that we should go see people..." Dan left the bathroom and went to the bedroom and turned the tv on. I finished my makeup and decided to go jump on the bed. It's my favourite activity. It was all fun and games... until I fell on him. He just laughed and hugged me.

"If you wanted to cuddle you could have just asked."

"You know me, Dan... I like to make things weird." His phone vibrated, and he sighed.

"Zoe's here already... And I just got comfy..."

"I don't want to get off of you. Just carry me."

"Let me get up and I'll give you a ride on my back."

"Deal. I'm okay with that." I got off of him and he stood up, turning his back to me. I jumped up and he started walking once I was clung onto him. "I need you to put my flip flops on my feet... I'm not getting off of you..." He lowered himself down carefully, holding onto the kitchen counter. He put them on my feet and stood up again. We walked out to find Beth and Phil waiting for us.

"Bianca... this is a new level of lazy..."

"Shhhh... I found a good one. He gives me piggy back rides. He offered. I'm not gonna deny it." We went downt he lift and went outside. There was a lovely girl waiting in front of a car. She had long ombre'd hair. There was something so comforting about being around her, but I wasn't sure what it was yet.

"Hey guys! How are you?"

"We're good. This is Bianca, Zoe." Dan said, turning around so she could see me. I jumped off his back, but he lowered down so I wouldn't die. He stood tall again once my feet were on the ground.

"You're so lovely. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too," I said, a little too shyly. We al piled into the car.

"So," Dan said, "Is everyone there?"

"Yeah, everyone but Louise and you guys, making you and Louise the slow pokes." The car ride was filled with conversation from everyone but me. I just sat awkwardly in between Dan and Beth, squeezing Dan's hand. Zoe pulled into a drive way about ten minutes after leaving the train station.

We went inside and heard a familiar voice yell for Dan. I was walking behind him, so all I saw was arms cling around his neck. "I missed you, silly. You don't text me anymore! You should come to Brighton more often!" I reached up on my tip-toes and ripped her arms off of him. She pulled away and I stepped out in front of Dan.

"What's that?" She asked as Dan wrapped his arms around me.

"'That', or she, as I prefer, is my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" She asked, shocked. He hugged me closer and nodded. "Well... I umm. I thought... Does she do youtube?"

"No, I don't. I can speak for myself."

"Oh... Okay. Well, nice to meet you I guess..." Her tone didn't show that she was thrilled. I was introduced to the others. Alfie- Zoe's boyfriend- Joe- Zoe's brother- and Caspar. Everyone was lovely... except Camille. She kept looking at me.

"Okay, guys," Alfie said, "Dinner reservations are at 7, so what do you want to do until then?"

"Mario Kart tournament!" Dan yelled like a child.

"All right, let's do it," Camille agreed. "I still need to learn how to beat Dan."

"Bianca's beaten me before. She's really good."

"How?" Zoe asked. "He's so good."

"I can't help being better in every way, shape, and form. It just comes naturally... or I've spent close to 1,000 hours playing that game... I prefer the first option, but I think everyone should know that the second is a lot more accurate." Everyone chuckled except Camille, who continued glaring at me. I gave her a snarky smile and laughed.

"So, if we do teams, Dan and Bianca aren't allowed on the same one..."

"I think it should be a couples battle/ the one set of best friends battle. That would leave one person out though..." Beth said.

"Well, that's not fair... I want to play too. This is a party after all, it's not much of a party if I'm sitting out..."

"Well, either way someone is going to be sitting out."

"Well, if we do the couples thing then, I think it should be Bianca who sits out, since she's just joined us..."

"I think that's more of a reason for her to play..." Dan said.

"And I think you're just looking for a reason to play with _my_ boyfriend..." I whispered.

"Whatever, you guys do your couples thing... I'm going to walk to the store to get some stuff then..." Camille said. She walked out of the house and slammed the door.

"Thank god she's gone..." Zoe said.

"So, what do you guys really want to do?" Alfie asked.

I must have looked confused, because Zoe came over by me and explained. "Bianca... we all don't really like Camille... and We're all thinking of 'dumping' her as a friend... I know that sounds mean..."

"Not at all... she doesn't seem to like me much, anyways. If she's going to be so negative with me, then I don't want that around. i'm all about good aura's."

"I still think we should play mario kart because I want to..." Dan said.

"That's fine, we still will then. There are snacks in the kitchen, feel free to help yourself to anything there." Alfie said.


	15. Chapter 15: Shopping

"I thought I said that they couldn't be on the same team!" Zoe said.

"Well it's not fair if everyone gets to be a couples team and they don't..."

"You just need to accept that it's fate for us to be winners," I said. "Even if we weren't on a team, we'd still kick your asses."

"Fiiiinnnneeee... It's not like there's prizes or anything..."

"Boom. Let's annihilate them, Dan." And we did just that. We absolutely obliterated them. We played four rounds. Zoe and Alfie against Joe and Casper, and then Dan and I against Beth and Phil. Zoe and Alfie beat Joe and Casper, and Dan and I obviously beat Phil and Beth. Then we beat Zoe and Alfie, Zoe throwing a bit of a fit, but obviously joking.

Camille came back. "So, we ready to go?"

"Camille... Dinner isn't until 7...It's barely even three yet," Zoe said.

"How about we play cards against humanity then." She suggested.

"We don't have that game... Did any of you bring it?"

"I have it," Dan said, "But I figured anything everyone would want to play would be here... And I thought you all were too innocent for that anyways, so didn't really think of bringing it."

"UGH, No one wants to do anything I want to do and it's really ticking me off..."

"Maybe we can all go for a walk or something? Meet up here again in about twenty minutes? You guys can go explore Brighton if you'd like. Alfie and I wanted to pick some stuff up anyways, so maybe that's a good idea."

"Bianca, want to go shopping?" Dan asked me.

"Sure, I can just put it on my bank card. I brought money for dinner because last time I told you I was buying dinner."

"Don't worry about money, I've got it..."

"Daniel... whatever-your-middle-name-is Howell..."

"James," He said.

"Daniel James Howell, I can buy my own things. I have plenty of money..."

"I like buying things for you, though..."

"BUT I CAN DO IT AND I FEEL LIKE I'M STEALING FROM YOU AND I HATE IT!"

"One thing? Can I buy you one thing?"

"Maybe..."

"Stop looking for attention, Bianca..." Camille whispered.

"Okay, so Dan and I are leaving. Anyone want to come with, or just him and me?"

"I'll come along," Camille said, with a grin.

"Alright then, let's go..." Dan said.

We all left. "So, Bianca," Dan started, "What do you want to look at first?"

"I think we should go get ice cream," Camille interjected.

"He asked me, not you, Camille. And I don't really like ice cream much, so I think we should go..." I looked around the small shops that lined the street. I saw a lovely shop with some lovely shirts and dresses on mannequins out front, and was simply dying to go in and look. "There," I said as I pointed to it.

"Okay, then, let's go," He said as he grabbed hold of my hand. Part of me really wanted to stick my toungue out at Camille, but I had to be the adult in this situation. I had to. I knew she would make some snarky comments here and there, but, Dan and I could just pretend she wasn't trying to be the awkward third wheel.

We walked in the store and were greeted by a lovely woman with bright red hair. She had a classic sort of look about her, like most of the clothes in the store. It had a vintage feel to it. Se was wearing a gorgeous skirt that fell to the floor. It was covered in a vintage flower pattern, it looked aged, but I could tell it was new. Her shirt was a classic white shirt tucked into the skirt slightly, and she had an antique looking necklace on with huge pearl earrings to match it.

"Anything I can help you guys find today?" She asked.

"Um, no I think we're just looking for now."

"Do you have anything... Less modest, I suppose you'd say," Camille asked.

"Not really, everything here is supposed to have an older feel. The owner designs all of this herself, and she's all about women respecting themselve enough to dress modestly. So, the lowest cut for a top we have is right below the collar bones, and the shortest skirt is mid thigh, if that helps any."

"Yeah, this isn't the store for me."

"Well, sorry we couldn't help you out any. There's actually two stores down that has some stuff that's more... edgy. You might like it down there more."

"Thanks..." Camille said, "for nothing..." She whispered as she walked away from her.

The woman went back to her spot at the register and Dan and I looked around. One of the mannequins at the back of the store was modelling a beautiful white dress. Fell to mid-thigh as the woman had said, and the neckline was to the collar bones. A pale pink ribbon adorned the waist, and the dress was fully lace. The skirt was ruffled down. I looked at the price tag to see how much it was, and I think my eyes just about popped out of my head.

"135..."

"Do you want it?"

"I'm not letting you spend that much. I'll get it later or something. There's always a different dress. Always. Anyways, when am I going to wear it?"

"Tonight?"

"I already have a dress for tonight, so I'm good. I don't do much fancy stuff anymore. So, to get something like this would be impractical." I left the dress, sadly, but left it none-the-less. I ended up leaving the store with a necklace, a matching pair of earrings, and the business card of the woman who did all of the designing.

"Okay, Dan," I said, "your turn, where are we going?"

"Ummm... Well, There's that store there..." He pointed to a geeky kind of store.

"To it we go, then."

"UHUM! When do I get to choose where we go?"

"You can go whenever you want to wherever you want... We are sticking together and taking turns going to places."

"So I get to choose next?"

"Sure, whatever..." I said as we walked into the store. Dan's face lit up like a five year old telling santa what he wanted for christmas. Dan went straight to the anime stuff. He grabbed some stuff from Full Metal Alchemist, and went to check out. Once he was done, he asked if there was a bathroom he could use, and the employee of the store led Dan to it.

"So," Camille started. "How long do you think you and Dan will last?"

"I don't know... I hope a while..."

"I wouldn't hope that... You're just going to get your heart broken."

"And why do you say that?" I ask, genuinely interested.

"Because... for one, I've known Dan for a long time now... and... well, look at you. You don't have much going for you. You're short, you're dressed like a child, kinda fat... not that pretty. You're average. You're completely ordinary."

I look down at my body. I see it. My stomach bulging out a bit, looking fat. My face in a reflection shows scars, zits, and blotchy red spots. And my height... He is super tall... maybe he isn't into midgets... even though I'm not a midget, to him I'm one...

"Really?"

"Really. Would I lie to you?"

"I don't know... would you?"

"Of course not."

"Okay... thanks..." I said, putting a fake smile on my face. Her saying that made me not want to tell Dan how I thought I really felt. If it was bound to end in heart break for me... I don't know, sharing my true feelings would just make it all the worse... I wasn't decided on what I should have done, but Camille made me want to choose to not want to say aything...

Dan came back and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it and he looked down at me and smiled.

"Everything okay?"

"It's fine," I said, smiling back, but he looked concerned.

"You don't look fine."

"She said she's fine, let's go to the store I want and then go back to Zoe and Alfie's."

"Whatever..." I said, dragging Dan along to the store. All black. That's all that was in the store. Every article of clothing you'd see was black. Not even gray's were in there. Just black. I just felt depressed looking in there.

"Camille, Bianca and I are gonna sit out here until you're done in there, okay?"

"Fine, have fun losers." She ran inside and was instantly gone.

"What happened? You were so happy a bit ago..." He said, leading me to a bench next to the store.

"I-... She told me that I'm ordinary... That I'm ugly... fat..."

"She told you that..."

"She told me not to get my hopes up in a relationship with you because I'm ordinary and you don't like ordinary girls. She said that hoping a relationship with you would last a while was leading me to heart break. And that i was bloody short..." I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"You're not ordinary."

"She said it... and that our relationship has no hope of lasting..."

"We just started a relationship... how would any one know where it's going? Even us..."

"I don't know... I just... I don't know how to say this..." _Should i tell him?_ That was the only question running through my mind. _Should i tell him that I think i love him? But if he doesn't feel the same... Just do it. Say it._

"So just say it. Don't even think about it."

"I- I think I-... I think that I might possibly... Love you..."

"Thank God."

"What?"

"I wasn't the only one who felt it."

"Felt... love?"

"The second I kissed you... This is going to sound cheesy... but You know how in books and movies how they describe kissing? Like that firework moment when they just know, 'wow, I'm supposed to be with this person,'?"

"Yeah?"

"I felt that. Like, I was going to say it, but then I stopped myself because I didn't want to rush you."

"And I didn't want to rush you..."

"So, basically what I'm saying is... I think I might possibly love you, too."

"So we might possibly, maybe love each other?"

"There's a chance."

"Hey, Dan?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Your face should high-five mine."

"Oh really?" He said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, like, just, you know, to solidify the fact that we might possibly love each other."

"Ugh... you're just so short, I don't know if I can get down to the level of your face..."

I stood up, and he stayed seated. I stood in front of him, being taller than him, I leaned down and kissed him. I heard a shutter to a camera go off right next to us, and looked over, to see his phone in his hand facing right at us.

"REALLY?"

"I need this memory on my phone. Don't hate me for that."

"Fine... As long as it's cute..." I sat down next to him again and he slung his arm around me. He pulled the picture up and an 'awwwww' slipped out of my mouth. "We're so adorable send that to me now." My text tone went off and I thanked him. He leaned down and kissed me again. It wasn't anything extravagant... just a simple peck, but right as he did it, Camille walked out of the shop.

"Ew, do that somewhere else, not in public."

"Bianca, want a piggy back ride?"

"Dan, you know how to make a girl happy." I stood up on the bench and got on his back.

"This bench makes me almost the same height as you..."

"You're so little, I love it."

"What if I was taller than you?"

"I would love it."

"What if I was... 700lbs?"

"You'd possibly die, but I'd still love it."

"I'm regretting coming with you two..."

"What if I was annoying?"

"You are being annoying..." Camille said.

"I would still love it."

"What if I... was... in a wheel chair?"

"I would love it because I could push you out of the wheel chair and steal it."

"Good answer."

The walk back was filled with gooey talk like that to annoy Camille. We made it back and she was so done with us. I dropped off of Dan, but hugged on to catch my balance. I basically slid down him like a pole. Dan's phone buzzed. He looked and laughed a bit. He showed me a tweet from Camille.

_I just want that ooey gooey love talk... and i could have had it... if it wasn't for a certain someone who won't be getting tagged in anything of mine._

I laughed a bit with him, and we went to sit on the couch.

"So," Beth said," Bianca, did you buy anything?"

"Just a necklace and some earrings." I said, showing them to her.

"Those will go wonderfully with your dress for dinner tonight."

"That was what I thought."

"That store sucked..." Camille threw in.

"At least it looked happy... unlike the store you went into..."

"Dan probably liked it... what does he wear? All black." I looked to Dan, who was seated right next to me on the couch. His shirt was bright red.

"Apparently not all he wears..." I said.

"And even if I did... I wouldn't like a girl based on how she dresses. I mean, modesty is kinda important... I'd rather be the only one seeing anything rather than all of it being on show. And nothing is more attractive than confidence. Bianca, would you say that outfit makes you feel confident?"

"Wouldn't wear it if I didn't feel that way."

"Whatever, I know I'm hot. So i don't need modesty. Whats the point of having a great body and covering it up? Like, I know why Bianca does it..."

"And why do I do it?"

"Because you look like a fucking corpse."

"Watch what you say, Camille..." Dan warned.

"No, really though, does she even eat? Like I keep my body healthy and eat three meals a day. She looks like she barely gets one. She looks frail."

"Because she is, you bitch," Beth said angrily. The defensive older sister came out of the shell. "She has mental illnesses we are working out! We want her better! But you're just a selfish twat who thinks she can just drag people down to get what she wants. You want Dan? You can't have him. Why? He is a good person. You're a piece of shit."

"Her mental issues aren't of my concern."

"If you like Dan so much you'd understand that he wants me to get better and has actually been helping me out quite a bit already... You'd want what Dan wants..."

"And I want her better..." Dan said.

"If Dan would care about someone who was relevant, then yes, i would care. But it's just you."

"And that's why I don't like you. Never have. Never will. Because you're a shitty person. I'm going to tell you now. I'll say it slowly for you, too. I. Will. Never. Love. You. This thing with Bianca? It's probably going to last a very, very long time."

"So... i have no chance?"

"None at all."

"Whatever. There are hundreds of men like you. I'll find one. But I can tell you you won't be happy with her. Dan, I know you. You're lazy."

"With stupid things like Uni. This is a human being."

Camille was going to reply, but then Zoe, Alfie, Joe, and Casper walked back in with a couple following behind.

"Look who we picked up! I got my chummy back!" Zoe yelled.

"LOUISE!" Camille yelled, jumping up to hug her. Louise stepped around her and came over by Dan, Phil, Beth and I.

"So, you're the girlfriend, huh?" She asked, examining me up and down. "She's pretty," She whispered loudly to Dan. "You did good. Phil, Beth, good job choosing her for Dan."

"Did you guys tell people you were trying to set me up with someone?" Dan asked. Beth and Phil nodded shamefully. "Typical..."

"Thanks for setting us up though, because I appreciate it." I said.

"So, why did you all have the serious looks when we walked in?" Zoe asked.

"Noth-" I started.

"Camille was making nasty comments to Bianca." Beth said.

"Stop Beth." I said.

"No."

"They don't need to be brought into this." I said to her.

"Why would I say something negative to Bianca."

"Oh don't play innocent. We all know you better, Camille."

"Beth! Just stop. This isn't yours to talk about..."

"Fine... God, Bianca, just let me help you."

"I don't need it... Just stop fighting... Dan, we should go get ready for dinner... It is 4:00 now I still need to curl my hair..." Dan and I got up and walked out. "I'm so done wtih drama. Like, really. I just don't want it. I don't care about Camille. She's a crappy person, but literally I don't want a fight on what's supposed to be a fun night."

"And that's fair. Listen, tomorrow you and I can be one hundred percent drama free. We can seperate from the group and spend the day together."

"Promise?"

"Promise. We can walk on the beach, shop, do whatever you want."

"Noooo. We can do what you want."

"Half what you want, half what I want."

"Fine. That's fine. I can do that. Let's see a movie tomorrow."

"What one?"

"I don't care, whatever one you wanna see..."

"Well... then that's my activity we're doing tomorrow..."

"Let's... go walk around the beach tomorrow. BEACH PICNIC!"

"Perfect. Stress free, just what you need right now."


	16. Chapter 16: Out with the Group

We continued our walk to the hotel. For lazy people, we walked a lot... It was the best way to get around though, so I didn't really care. Plus more time with Dan, and that was good with me.

As we walked, we talked of the plans we'd made for the next day, and he expressed interest in a movie he'd like to see. The walk to the hotel was a lot longer so we just made small talk.

"I kinda miss my mum, not going to lie about it. Like, how would I live without her ever? So... when we go back to London, not that I didn't enjoy spending the past, what, four days with you? Minus last night, of course. I'm going to stay at my house... We can still hang out during the day and stuff, of course."

"That's no problem. Do what you have to do. It's not like I won't see you. And, your mother said you aren't allowed to be alone for long, remember? So I'll probably end up being with you anyways."

"That's right... I forgot about the whole needing a babysitter thing..."

"It's for your own good... I know you don't like it... Maybe after a while though... after not doing this stuff to yourself for a while... you can be alone. Like 'alone' alone."

"I think it comes to the point where I'm 18 and I can do what I want with my body..."

"If you're getting a piercing or a tattoo, sure... but not this. This can kill you."

I sighed. "Then I can get all the piercings and tattoos I want?"

"How many do you want?"

"I mean, piercings I want my nose done, and a bunch more on my ears." I already had two on each ear as well as a cartilage piercing on my right ear. "Maybe not a bunch... but like five more on each ear... So actually a bunch... Tattoos, I don't even know if I really want any... I mean there's a few meaningful things that I'd consider getting done, but not right now. "

"Alright then, when do you want to go get some done?"

"You're being serious?"

"Yeah, I am. I'll take you to get your ears pierced. Nose too, if you want."

"You know, you're literally the best."

"It just comes naturally, what can I say?"

"Well, then, screw the beach picnic tomorrow, let's do this."

"Nose? Ears? Both?"

"Probably just the nose... Don't want to over do it and I don't want to spend too much."

"I got it..."

"DAN! No. I have money..."

"Can I ask something?"

"What?"

"If you don't have a job how do you have money?"

"I... I'm not supposed to tell anyone... but... I mean, we are dating... maybe it will be okay..."

"You're not a drug dealer are you?"

"No..."

"Do you make porn?"

"Of course not!"

"Those are the worst things I can think of so it's fine. Tell me."

"My dad still sends me money."

"I thought your dad left you guys?"

"He did... but I was young and don't remember him going... So I got curious about him... and I found him... and I started talking to him. And he insisted on supporting me because I was his only child that put forth an effort to have a relationship with him after he left... But no one in my family knows... Like, about the money... They know I talk to him...

"I mean it's kinda honorable of your dad... in a way... he just up and left, right? But he's helping one of you out..."

"Yeah... but if Beth or Bill, or especially mum found out... they would be so mad at me..."

"Do you know where your dad is?"

"He won't tell me... He just keeps putting money in a bank account for me and had this card sent to me. So... I don't really need you to buy me stuff... I can buy it myself..."

"Well, I'm going to be honest here, okay?"

"Okay... go ahead..."

"Tell him to stop unless you get to meet him. If you don't get to meet him then you don't want his money."

"Yeah, but then I'll have no source of income..."

"And I told you I got you."

"Dan, we just started a relationship, so no, you will not be financially supporting me... not yet... give it a year then we'll talk."

"I'll help you with it at least. Just message him or call him or whatever and tell him you want to meet."

"Okay..."

"And another thing... Don't spend his money until you get to meet him either..."

"DAN! YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT! I'm buying dinner tonight..."

"No, just wait until after then you can take me out on a lavish date and it will be perfect. Hell, you can take me out for as many as you want and buy me whatever you want in return."

"Deal."

"See, easy." We got to the hotel and went into our room and went to the bed. I didn't really even want to curl my hair so it was just an excuse to cuddle. We went to the bedroom and laid down on the bed. He turned on the tv and I rolled over onto my stomach. I sighed loudly.

"Let's just sleep and not eat dinner with them. We can just order a pizza."

"Do you really not want to go?"

"I don't know... I feel bad about coming with and then not going to the thing that you wanted to do. So we're going to go and have fun. But I'm gonna nap before because I'm feeling socially drained." I laid down and basically just shoved my face into his chest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"When Beth films you and I together, do you feel like it's too soon to share that stuff with the internet? Because when she says that you invited me, it seems like it's kinda obvious that we're in some sort of relationship, you know?"

"I understand exactly what you're saying. And here's the thing, is you're not even on youtube, and I feel that people aren't going to react well to this. Forget the feeling, I know they won't. And I think I'm going to tell her to keep you out of it. I don't even think I want to share my relationships with the internet. It's a private thing. If you were on youtube and you wanted to tell I wouldn't mind, but you don't do youtube.

"Please tell her. At least in things where she says that I'm with you... Not really her news to share, right?"

"If it's with me and you, then I'd rather not have it go up. Now, if you consent you can be in her videos with her. But if it's obvious that you and I are dating, then I don't want that. You'll get attacked and I don't want that for you."

"Thanks," I said through a yawn.

"Go to sleep, we can talk to Beth about it later, okay?"

I nodded and stayed quiet. It took me about twenty minutes to fall asleep. I woke up to my phone vibrating on the table next to me. I grabbed it and saw multiple texts from Izzy.

"Where are you? I came home this weeked to surprise you and you aren't even here!?"

"I went to Brighton with Dan, Beth and her boyfriend to some party that their friends are having... You really need to tell me these plans before you do them so I can actually plan..."

"Bianca, you never have plans... This is the first weekend you've been out since I've left... So, if I wanted to surprise you I didn't really think I'd need to tell you that I was coming... It's whatever now... But come on... I miss you..."

"Sorry... I'll come stay with you next weekend?"

"Sounds like a plan. I miss you and I haven't seen you in a few weeks... I need my woofles..."

"Woof... I miss you, and I'll talk to you everyday from now on! I have to go for now though... I have a party to get ready for, okay? I love you!"

"Fine... bye... :/"

I put my phone back on the table and snuggled closer to Dan, who was still sound asleep despite my moving around. Nothing gets that boy up, I swear. I looked at the clock and it was only five... Dinner at seven, I could still technically sleep for another half an hour... But would I want to? Probably not. So I got up and went to the bathroom. I took my dress with and hung it up in there.

I fixed the little bits of eyeliner that smudged off when I was sleeping, and combed through my hair. I went back into the bedroom because I didn't know anything else to do and I just laid back on the bed.

"We should just not go tonight," Dan said as he shifted and put an arm across my chest, hugging me.

"Too late, I fixed my hair. We have to go. And that's the only reason we actually came here. We may as well just go home, then."

"But we can just sleep," he moaned.

"Daniel James, we are going. You're going to have fun with your friends. "

"But Biancaaaaa..."

"Sucks to suck, doesn't it? Now get up."

"No."

"What did you say to me?"

"N. O. No."

"Oh really?" I said with a laugh. I ripped out of his grasp and stood up. "Get up."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"But it's only five. We can still be lazy a while longer."

"No."

"Oh really?" He said as he jumped up and threw me back on the bed. I laughed.

"Is this that important? That we stay in bed for another half an hour?"

"Yes," He was leaning over me, and I just kept laughing. "This is serious. I'm a lazy fuck, so you're going to be lazy with me."

"High five my face with yours, then we'll talk about it. Deal?"

"Sorry, you're too short for me. I'm not into midgits."

"Wooooowwwww..."

"Just kidding, I like short girls," He said as he lowered himself to kiss me. I bet people think our relationship was moving way to fast. But honestly, I didn't care, because when you know, you know. There was only one thing that I wasn't sure I wanted to do yet, and that was sex. If things got too... passionate, I guess, I would call it quits, pull away. I didn't want anything to move that fast. A kiss is one thing, but sex is a totally more deep and emotional thing for me. I just don't want to do it, then get dumped. I don't want to be used just for sex.

As we kissed, well, it was more of making out, but whatever, Dan's phone went off. He sighed and looked at the phone.

"It's my mum, I gotta take it, sorry." He put the phone on speaker.

"Hey mum, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful Dan, I called with a purpose though. Adrian's birthday is coming up and he doesn't want a big get together. Just us, basically. So give me some night soon this week that you're free. "

"What does he want for his birthday? And, actually since you brought up a little get together, I was wondering if I could bring someone?"

"Who? Phil? Adrian wouldn't mind that at all."

"No, it's actually someone else. A girl. Who's a friend. Or what one would call a "Girlfriend"."

"Oh, a girlfriend? Of course. I need to meet the girl you got. She must be gorgeous. Just give me a night you're free and we will plan it for that night."

"Okay, well then let's just do wednesday?"

"Wednesday is good. Alright, we'll see you then! I love you!"

"Bye, mum. Love you too."

"Wednesday... okay, I can do that. That's fine. Makes me a bit nervous, but it's fine."

"If you don't want to you can wait a while longer. I just kinda threw you into that, didn't I?"

"No, I want to. It's fine."

"Well, I'm up now, what should we do for the last, what? Fifteen minutes?"

"Were we kissing for fifteen minutes?"

"Yeah, time flies when you're having fun. "

"so... we're going to dinner when we can just do that for hours because...?"

"Because you said that's the reason we are even here and you didn't want to go before but you said we are going. So we're going."

"Damn my logic..."

"We have all day tomorrow for kissing. We can get through tonight without it. And, we can kiss in front of them. Unless you don't want to. Plus we have all night tonight."

"Good point. If we're going, I'm going to go curl my hair, I think."

"That's fine, I should probably change out of these black clothes, into-" He walked to his suitcase and pulled out more black clothing, "-THESE BLACK CLOTHES!"

"Your color spectrum for clothes is astounding. I wish I had as much variety."

"Listen here, I just know what looks good. And all my clothes match each other. And let's just remember that under this black sweat shirt is a red shirt."

"Shhhhh... I didn't ask for the sass, sir," I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I plugged in the curling iron and turned it on so it could heat up. I had hung my dress up in the bathroom earlier, so I figured I should put that on before anything. I pulled off my shirt, and since the dress had a built-in-bra, i removed my bra as well. I took off my pants and unzipped the dress on the hanger.

"Hey, Bianca, can you text Beth and ask her where she wants us to meet?" Dan asked as he was walking into the top half of my body was completely uncovered, so I stayed turned toward the dress, arms acrossed my breasts.

"I forgot to shut the door... How did I forget to shut the door?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"I really don't care. I just feel stupid because I'm sure you don't want to see this... Unless you do. I honestly don't know how fast you want this all to move."

"Put your dress on. I'll help you zip it." I stepped in the dress and covered up. He zipped up the back for me.

"Thanks... Sorry..."

"Bianca, I don't care. You're fine. I didn't look because I know you cared. You shouldn't be apologizing. I should have waited in the bedroom for you."

"We both think we were in the wrong... we are ridiculous... Anyways, I'll text Beth."

"Okay, and Bianca, you look great."

"Thank you." I sent a text to Beth. "She said just meet at the restaraunt. " I started curling my hair. I always regret it when I do it. It's so time consuming. It took me 20 minutes just for the hair. My makeup was fine. In the end, I decided to put my hair half up in a pony tail. I put on the new jewelery I bought and went to the living room area to find Dan on his laptop.

"Dan, what time should we leave?"

"I called a taxi and it will be here in twenty minutes."

"Oh, okay." I pulled out my phone and sat next to him. I texted Izzy and told her about my day.

"What are you doing for the rest of the night now?" She asked.

"We're going out with some friends."

"What are you wearing? I need to approve."

"Pink tutu dress with the bow on the back."

"Good choice. You have fun. I'm going to be going back to school since you aren't here."

"I'm sorry... I wish I would have been there..."

"You're with your boyfriend. I don't blame you for going. Have fun."

I leaned on Dan's shoulder. He put his arm around me. He was scrolling through tumblr.

"We should probably go wait for the taxi, huh?" He said.

"Probably. Let me go put my shoes on." He closed his laptop and walked to the door to put his shoes on. I went to the bedroom where my suitcase was and grabbed my heels out. I pulled out my jacket as well. I walked to Dan, and he grabbed my hand.

"If Camille says anything just tell me."

"Don't focus on what she says to me... I don't care..."

"But you do. You pretend you don't and you do. I can see right through you." He was right. What she said to me. It got me. It hurt.

"Don't worry about it, though. We're supposed to have fun. If I can't have fun, I want you to."

"I won't let Camille ruin you're fun. Just tell me. You probably won't be by her at all, but just in case."

"Okay... I just don't want to bother anyone... and I don't want drama."

"We're going to try to avoid it, but if we can't, you shouldn't be handling it alone..."

"I suppose..." The taxi came almost instantly when we walked out the door. Dan told the driver where we wanted to go.

"So, we're leaving Brighton earlier sunday for sure."

"Okay, that's fine. Did you decide on a movie for tomorrow or no?"

"No. We're going to relax on the beach instead," he said.

"Really? Is that what you want to do?"

"Of course. I just want to relax. I'm too lazy." I laughed a bit.

"You should start running. Stop being lazy."

"I'll do it when you do."

"And neither of us will be exercising any time soon. " We were driven up to the beginning of the pier.

"I'm not allowed to drive on the pier. It's only about about ten minutes to the left."

"Okay, thank you," Dan said as he paid him.

I was glad I grabbed my jacket. It was cold by the water. Dan held my hand as we walked, as there were quite a few people walking the pier. As we walked, my feet started hurting, since I was in heels.

"Can we stop for one second? I need to take these off."

"That's fine." He stopped and I slipped off my shoes. I grabbed his hand again and we continued walking.

"Why did you wear them if they hurt?"

"I wasn't expecting to have to walk to the restaurant."

"I don't understand the appeal."

"Beauty is pain. That's the mentality girls are brought up with now. I wear them because they look good. At least in my opinion."

"I suppose. You look fine without them. But if you like them, go ahead and wear them. You look gorgeous either way."

"Not many people have told me that in my life. I truly appreciate you saying that."

"You were just surrounded by the wrong people. The more you mature the more you'll realize they were wrong, not you. You deserve happiness, no matter what you look like. People don't seem to get that."

"I've mildly come to realize that."

"Now we just need you to realize it fully." We arrived at the little restaurant. I put my shoes back on and we went in and a waiter greeted us.

"Table for two?" He asked.

"No, actually, we're with a larger group."

"Oh, of course, they informed me you were coming. They're seating over here." He said as he started leading us to their table. There were two spots left at the table, one by Beth and one by Camille. Both right next to each other of course. Dan sat next to Camille. I took my seat next to Beth. The waiter asked Dan and I what we wanted to drink. I got a glass of wine because I'm fancy, and Dan ordered some sort of cocktail.

"How are you two?" Zoe asked us.

"Really good," Dan said.

"Sorry we left... I was just feeling really overly social and I had to recharge." I said.

"That's as good an excuse as any," Louise laughed.

"Louise, stop," Dan said. "That's not funny."

"Oh, sorry for trying to have some fun. We all know that's the truth though."

I looked at Dan and he looked really frustrated with her. "What did she mean?"

"She was implying you two were having sex, dear," Beth said.

My face flushed bright red. "No, really we didn't... We just started dating..."

"My husband, Matt here, and I, we did it within the first two days. Happily married now."

"Just because that's how it worked for you doesn't mean that's how it's going to go for us... I'd rather wait..."

"Louise, seriously, just drop it now..." Dan said. "You aren't being funny. You're being frustrating."

"I think I know what's happening," Camille said. "Dan wants to, but Bianca doesn't."

"Why are we all so hooked on my relationship? How about we talk about something that is actually your business." The waiter set Dan's drink down in front of him and he downed it almost instantly. "I'm going to need another one of those..."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Zoe interjected.

"Bianca, your dress is lovely. It really suits you."

"Thank you. Yours is beautiful. Where did you get it?"

"Little shop on the pier, actually."

I looked at Dan. He was covering his face with one of his hands. I grabbed it and pulled it away. I looked him in the eyes and smiled. He had an apologetic look in his eyes. He mouthed the word "Sorry". Why would he be sorry for his friends foolishness? I leaned on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me.

"We can go if you want," he said to me quietly.

"It's okay. Let them think what they want to think, Dan. I really don't care."

"They're just doing it to make me uncomfortable. I'm just sorry you were dragged into it."

"No problem. Just laugh it off and have fun. "

He pulled his arm off of me and grabbed my hand instead. I smiled. The waitor came back and took our orders. I got a salad with a vegetable soup on the side.

"So, what does everyone have planned for tomorrow?" Zoe asks.

"I was going to see if anyone wanted to hang out with me tomorrow," Camille said.

"Dan and I are just relaxing," I said.

"Anyone not doing anything tomorrow?" Camille asked.

"I think everyone is hanging out with their boyfriend or girlfriend, Camille..." Zoe said.

"You're all so boring..."

"Anyways, we can tell you guys some fun stuff to do around here if you'd like," Alfie said.

Everything went blank for a second. I felt the walls closing in around me. _Please, not now..._ I thought. My breathing became laboured. I looked down and closed my eyes. It was a panic attack. My hands were sweaty and shaking. I felt tears start rolling down my face. I opened my eyes and grabbed Dan's hand. I didn't want to feel alone. I was scared.

"Hey, you okay? What's wrong?" Dan asked me.

"Can we go outside? I need air." I said, extremely quietly. It hurt to talk.

"It's a panic attack," Beth said. I stood up and started walking out of the restaurant. I started scratching at my wrists. I noticed I was doing it, but when I first started having panic attacks, I didn't. I would just see my wrists all scratched raw. Now, I know I do it, but I can't stop it. I made it outside, and almost instantly just sat on the pier, not even caring who saw. Someone touched my back and I jumped. I looked up to see Dan kneeling next to me. I started crying harder. He wrapped something, I assumed it to be his jacket, around me. I felt his arms wrap around me.

"I'm sorry..." I said through the sobs. "I'm ruining this." My body kept shaking. It's hard to describe a panic attack. For someone with anxiety, it's hard to tell anyone exactly what it's like. They happen for no reason with me. It's as though something flips a switch in my brain and, boom, panicking. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest, it was beating so quickly. It felt as though the world around me was spinning. I started feeling insanely nautious.

"You can't help when you get panic attacks, Bianca. It happens. Don't worry about it."

"I just wish they wouldn't happen. I don't know why I get them. And it's always at times like this." I tried slowing my breathing. Dan released me from the hug. I started wiping away the tears from my face. I inhaled deeply. My wrists stung. I looked at them. I scratched through the skin and started bleeding. Dan pulled me into another hug.

"Are you okay to stand or should we sit out here a while longer?"

"A bit longer?" He nodded.

"Does anything trigger them?"

"Not really. They just happen. It's unpredictable, which is why I hate it."

"Now I know for future reference. Anything I can do to help make them stop?"

"Give me some space. Let me breathe. But also let me know you're there. The beginning of them is usually when I need space, toward the end I am more cuddly. " My breathing finally steading and I felt normal again, aside from the stinging on my wrists and the dampness on my face.

"Okay, I can do that."

"Thank you," I said. "For coming out here with me... I appreciate this..."

"No problem. I wouldn't have it any other way." He grabbed my hand and led me back into the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" Zoe asked. "I have panic attacks too, so I understand. I can help you with them sometime if you want. Some tricks I've found at making them less...scary."

"I'd really appreciate that." I said.

"Here, let me put my phone number into your phone." I opened up my contacts and added a new one and passed her the phone. She quickly typed everything in and passed it back. The waitor started placing people's food in front of them, Dan and I being first.

Once everyone had their food we decided to start eating right away and get done with it quickly. I had about four glasses of wine while everyone was eating. I was stressed after the panic attack, what can I say? I deserved it. I ate about half of the salad and decided to go to the bathroom.

It was pretty peaceful for the first minute. No one was in the bathroom except for me, so I was content. Then the door opened.

"So, Bianca," I heard Camillie say. "What are you and Dan doing tonight?"

"I don't know, Camille," I said as I looked in the mirror. "A lot more than you're doing."

"You know what he wants to do, right?"

"You don't know him as well as you think you do."

"Listen, I just know the male species better than you do. I've been in a lot of relationships, and the ones that I put out on in the first week lasted longer than the ones I waited for. The ones I waited for ended in a month. The rest lasted at least six months?"

"And how many relationships are we talking?"

"Like, ten or twelve."

"Maybe that has something to do with your problem. You aren't with the right people."

"Anyways, I'm just saying if you actually want a relationship to work with him, you should at least consider it..." The reasonable part of me knew she was lying because she wanted Dan and I to end. The insecure part of me thought she was honest. I already started planning. We'd go back to the hotel, relax for a bit and then I would do it. I would show him I was ready. Even though I was the farthest thing from ready.

"Thanks, Camille..." I said quietly. We walked out of the bathroom together and sat at the table again. I started drinking more. The night was quickly coming to an end. Everyone was laughing, having a good time. I was so clearly drunk. The joy of that though, was I wasn't the only person who was. Everyone was. So it was just fun.

The night came to a close and everyone paid for their food and went their seperate ways. Dan called a taxi, and Phil and Beth decided to just come with us, since it would just be cheaper. As we rode along in it, Beth started talking to me.

"So what do you two have planned for tomorrow?"

"I'm getting my nose pierced most likely. Relaxing on the beach. You know, fun stuff."

She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I know what Camille told you to do. Don't do it if it doesn't feel right to you, okay?" I nodded, but I still felt as though Camille was right. It's funny how people always end up listening to the most negative people in their lives.

I leaned on Dan's shoulder. We arrived at the hotel and all walked up together, but went our seperate ways at the doors. Dan went to the bathroom and I went to the bedroom. I quickly changed out of the dress into my pajamas. Just some comfy shorts and a tank top. The shorts were light green, kind of a pastel, plaid, and the shirt was light green as well.

Dan walked into the bedroom, shirtless, and just in jeans. "I could have grabbed my pajamas before going to the bathroom. Not sure why I didn't."

"It's fine," I laughed. "I don't care. Dan, cover up your boobs. God, I had the decensy of covering mine up early, it's the least you could do." He crossed his arms over his chest and squealed, making me laugh.

"Don't look at me I'm indecent!" He said loudly, keeping up the act. He laughed and started digging through his luggage and found his pajama pants. I was laid on the bed, flipping through tv channels. He laid on the bed next to me. "What are we going to watch?"

"Um... I don't think anything good is on..." I said. "Tonight was fun. I'm glad we went. Despite the panic attack, it was perfect. I felt a little out of place though."

"Why?"

"All of you do youtube. i don't know, I barely watch it. I just felt weird."

"Camille probably felt more out of place. The only one without a relationship. I mean Joe and Caspar, but they're best friends, so they don't care right now."

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know. It was fun though. And I didn't feel too out of place. Just a bit. Overall I was happy." I said, sitting up. I leaned over him and kissed him. "It's just such a good day, and even though I had that panic attack, i just couldn't be any happier than I am right now."

He smiled and kissed me again. "They didn't get to you with all the sex jokes, did they? It's not that I don't want to... I just don't want to rush you."

"I'm fine. I didn't care. But it got me to thinking... What if I am ready?"

"Do you feel like you're ready?"

"I think I do... I don't know... Dan.. I just want you to be happy..."

"What did Camille tell you? She went to the bathroom with you... What did she say?" I looked away, shamefully. "Bianca, I know you aren't ready. I'm not an idiot. I can see right through you. Don't do it because I want to, and god, I want to, but do it because you want to."

"It's just the fear of losing you now... At first, I tried telling myself that if I did, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. It was going to happen so just cherish the moments I have with you. But now, the very thought of it makes me feel the need to give up."

"I doubt that will happen. I truly do. Just.. stay away from Camille... She probably won't be in this group of friends for much longer..."

"It's easier said than done.. no matter what she goes where I go... I guarantee she will show up tomorrow. And she will make me just as insecure as she made me feel tonight... She will do it. And if it's not her someone else will show up and do it... watch and see. I know it will. It happened all throughout my education. It's happening now... I'm just sick of being made to feel as though I'm not good enough. Because now, I feel like I'll never be good enough. And I try and try to feel the opposite, but it's how I feel, and it's how I'll always feel. I tell myself I'm good enough, but it doesn't change how I feel." He sat up and hugged me to him. "I'm not good for you. And you need to not like me. You need to stay away from me because I'm just going to drag you down."

"Don't talk like that."

"I can't help talking like that if it's true... I'm spiraling into a depression that's just going to take me down and I don't want you getting sucked into that..."

"I already do from time to time. Just for different reason. You're going to be fine. You're going to get through it. No, we're going to get through it."

"I don't know... Okay. Maybe all of this was just the alchohol talking. Maybe I just need to sleep. I'm feeling a bit tired anyways." We shut off the lights and laid down for bed. I was asleep instantly.

Despite the plans we'd made for the next day, we decided against them. We just stayed in bed the whole day, resting. Just avoiding contact with everyone with the exception of Phil, Beth, and, for me, Izzy. We just watched movies and slept. A very peaceful day. The next day we left, quickly going to Zoe's house to say goodbye. We got home and I went straight to my house. I just needed a few hours of no social interaction.

I just laid on my bed, thinking about life. Thinking about the people I was with. . Thinking about the constant blessing they were to me. Knowing that I was truly lucky to have them.


	17. Chapter 17: Mom & Daughter Day

**Long time, no see... once again... I was facing major writers block. I'm not sure why, either. It's kinda hard. I don't know. I feel like I should really just delete the story because I doubt I'm ever going to finish it, but I feel like it I update it again, there's potential I'll get good(ish) feed back and maybe get inspired again? Also, I kinda want to try to put more effort into things I used to really enjoy for the New year. So, Happy new year. Here's the next chapter. **

"What about this one?" I said, holding up a sweater to my mum. She took the day out of work to spend it with me. "I like the color a lot. It goes really well with your skin tone."

"I'd much rather prefer plain colors. It's a bit out there."

"Mumma, it's turquoise... You should try it. If you don't like it, I'll gladly take it off your hands because I think it's absolutely gorgeous."

"Is that why I should get it? Because you want it? You're silly, Bianca. Anyways, what are your plans for the week?"

"Well, I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I'm pretty sure Dan is taking me to meet his parents. And then for the weekend, I'm going to visit Izzy. I might have Dan come with for one day so Izzy can meet him... but I don't know if it's too soon... Like, especially if it's my and Izzy's first time hanging out since she left... I don't know... What would you do?"

"Ask her. Be honest with her. I think that's the most important thing to do for her. Surprising her with something like that may make her feel like a third wheel."

"That's very true... Thanks, mum. Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course, anything."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Um... this is kinda an awkward one. How do I know I'm... ready... to... you know...?"

"I... um... well... Bianca... That's something you need to find for yourself. I can't tell you when you aren't or are ready. If it were up to me you'd wait until marriage, but it's really up to you."

"I just wish I could know... Like... I don't know... how did you know?"

"You want honesty?" I nodded. "I wasn't. Your father was my first. And he pressured me. Which is why, in the end, I'm glad he left. The relationship wasn't healthy. There's a lot of things I realize now I wish I'd have know then. He told me he'd leave me if we didn't. So, I did. And it's not that I regret it. Because if it didn't happen, I wouldn't have all of my children. And I'm so grateful for all of you. So I don't regret it."

"If you didn't, do you think you and dad wouldn't have gotten married?"

"I don't know. There's no use thinking about it now, I'm glad it happened the way it did. If it didn't I may have never gotten to meet you. Anyways, all this depressing chat about the past. Should we go visit Cas and the baby?"

"Of course we should. Is that even a question?" We paid for the few things mum decided to get.

The drive to their house was about forty minutes away from the shopping center we were at. I spent a lot of the time texting Dan.

"So, you're going to meet his parents, huh? Big step so early?" Mum said.

"Well, I figured he already met you... and we weren't even dating when he did. It's the least that I should do. I'm kind of excited too. Really nervous. But excited."

"Why nervous?"

"Well, I guess things are going pretty fast. I mean, a little over a week... but really fast. I'm sure most people don't meet their boyfriends family for months. But I'm still ready to do so."

"That's good. You should be excited to meet his family. It may be better this way. If you feel they support the relationship it will make the connection grow stronger between you two."

"That's a very... comforting way of looking at it, actually."

"So when you're there, that's all you have to think about."

"Thanks mum."

"No problem, honey."

We pulled up to my brothers house.

We both got out of the car and went up to the door. My mum just opened the door and walked in. I followed her, only to find Cas sitting in the living room topless and a baby latched onto her boob. Bill Sitting next to her trying to help.

"Mum, glad you're here. We can't get Meredith to nurse... Hey, Bianca, if you want to wait in the other room you can, otherwise you can stay in here. Just don't want you to be somewhere you're uncomfortable."

"I'm okay, it's natural. And it's your house. It'd be quite rude to be uncomfortable. But, I may go to the other room and call Dan."

"How's that whole situation going," Cas asked. "Must be going pretty well, we haven't heard from you in a few days."

"It's going pretty great. He's helping me a ton... you know... with the eating stuff... I've been eating and I've been holding it down. Which is good." At that, my phone started to ring. Dan's picture showed on my phone screen.

"Hello?" I said as I walked into the other room. "What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"With my mom at my brother's house, why?"

"I miss you."

"You're needy."

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had a girlfriend? I'm allowed to be needy, okay? And also, if I'm needy with you, you should know that that means I really like you."

"Um, let me talk to my mum quick. Maybe you can just meet us here and you can steal me. We are just visiting the baby."

"Okay, why don't I come in, like, ten minutes?"

"Sounds perfect. See you in a bit, bye." I hung up and texted him the address, figuring he didn't already have it.

I stepped back into the living room and Cas was celebrating.

"Hey mum, is it okay if Dan comes and kidnaps me?"

"Of course dear, we had our fun for the day. I was just going to go home and take a nap."

"Awesome. We can hang out with Dan." Bill said.

"You've already hung out with Dan..."

"As a friend, not as my sister's boyfriend. So, now we get to hang out. And since Dad's a piece of shit and not here to make sure he's a good guy, then I guess I have to step up. Plus, I'm your big brother. Embarrassing you is what I do best."

"Well... That's true... But... Maybe another day? We're going on a trip to his parents house and we have planning to do... maybe when we come back?"

"Fine, but I'm doing it. It's my brotherly right."

"I wouldn't take that away from you, Bill."

I sat on the couch. Across from them.

"Bianca, would you like to hold her before you leave?" Cas asked.

"May I?" She nodded and Bill brought me Meredith. This wasn't the first time I held her, but it felt so much more real when she wasn't in the hospital. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like when she was in the hospital, it wasn't reality. Once I had her at the place she would call home it was so much more real and important. I loved her so much. There was a knock on the door and Bill answered it.

"Hi Dan, how are you?" Bill said as he shook Dan's hand.

"I'm pretty good, how about yourself?"

"Incredible."

"Good to hear. Bianca, having fun?"

"So much. I love babies. I didn't think I loved babies. But I love her so much."

"Whoa, slow down the baby talk..." Bill said.

"I didn't mean I wanted a baby. Someday maybe, but I have so much life to live. I want to wait a few more years before I think about that stuff. But I love her."

"You can babysit for us. Just let us know and she's yours for the night."

"I'm going to have to take you up on that I think. Okay, Dan are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, did you pack for the trip yet?"

"No... we aren't leaving until tomorrow night though, packing isn't my number one concern, I guess." I said as I passed Meredith back to Bill.

"Sweet. That's perfect. Let's go then."

"Where are we going?"

"Shopping."

"Um, Dan, no we aren't."

"Yes, we are. We're getting you a nice dress for tomorrow night."

"Are you saying my dresses aren't nice?"

"No, I'm saying you're getting a new one. It will be better because I get to help you choose it."

I sighed but nodded. "Okay... let's go look. But if I don't like anything I'm not getting anything, okay?"

"Deal."

We walked out of the house and down the street. Bill lived a minute walk from all the high end shops.

"What about this one, then?" I asked Dan. I put on a red, long sleeved, floor length dress. Fairly plain except for a gold belt around the waist.

"I'm going to say they all look good. It looks amazing on you."

"What's the point of you wanting to help me pick a new dress if you say they all look good?"

"Well then, you want my honest opinion?"

"Yes..."

"Black. All black. Let's just throw out all of your other clothes and get you all black. Perfect. Ten out of ten."

"You should know that I couldn't live without my flower print clothes..."

"Okay, okay, hear me out... black flowers."

"I have some shirts like that... just haven't worn them yet... at least around you."

"I'm only giving you crap. No worries. I like how you dress."

"Hey, Dan..." I said, trying not to hide the fact I was worried, but failing.

"What's up?"

"I'm... nervous..."

"About meeting my parents?"

"Yes..."

"I'm nervous too. If that makes you feel better. My dad will interrogate you. Make sure you're not just using me for money. I'll do my best to hold that off, but I doubt I'll be able to. Mum's going to be good though. I think you two will get along greatly. You and my brother will get along well as well I'm sure, though he is very shy around new people, especially people that I bring around for some reason. The only one you really should be nervous for is my dad."

"So, he's the one I need to convince... Dad's scare me. I don't know why. Probably because I don't really remember having one growing up... so I don't really realize fully that they only mean well when they are like that. Like, I know they do, but still inside it's like I don't. If that makes sense."

"I get it. I think the best way to describe it would be thinking about it, you understand, but subconsciously you don't."

"Exactly. I just don't like conflict. So, hopefully it will be okay. Anyways, I don't really like any of these. So you should come help me pack. I have plenty of dresses at home for stuff like this."

"Are you sure?"

"Why?"

"Well... My parents are a bit more conservative I guess. Like not politically, but in terms of dress. So, the reason we are shopping is I know sometimes you don't dress as... modestly... I guess..."

"Dan, I have plenty of modest clothes, why wouldn't you just tell me that?"

"Some girls would get offended about that comment, but you just took it as what it is. Not to be offensive. I'm impressed."

"Why would someone take that offensively? I have dresses I wore around my Grandma. All knee length and above the ladies. So we are good. You should have just told me so we wouldn't have wasted our time at this shop."

"Once again, didn't want to offend you."

"Wow. You just think I'm offended easily."

"In my defense most people are..."

"True. I'll give you that."

We left the shop. Dan grabbed my hand tightly. I've heard people say that holding hands is just something adults don't do. I'm sorry, I enjoy holding hands. Can't help it... We held hands all the way to my house.

Brynna was sitting on the couch, playing her video games when Dan and I walked in.

"So, you finally decided to come here for once?" She asked. "I literally haven't seen you for a week, what the hell?"

"Don't even act like that, Brynn. Not in the mood to argue."

"Well, you're too busy with your boyfriend. I didn't really realize how bored I'd be without you."

"Well, don't argue with me all the time then I won't stay away. I was home last night but you were locked in your room. I'll be here tonight, Dan's just helping me pack for our trip."

"A trip? So fast..."

"Brynna, stop," mum said as she walked into the room. "Hi again, Dan, how are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Pretty good. You know though, I've missed my daughter quite a bit," Mum said with a laugh.

"I can leave her here if you'd like."

"Um... but I'd miss you..." I pouted.

"As long as I get one day I'm good. You can have her the rest of the time."

"That's a deal I can go with," He chuckled.

I grabbed his hand, "We'll be in my room, mum."

"Okay, Dan, will you be eating with us?"

"If I'm welcome, I'd really like that."

"Of course you're welcome."

Dan and I went up to my room. I closed the door.

"Okay, so we are going tomorrow night and wednesday night, right?"

"Yes, unless you want to stay longer. My parents wouldn't mind it."

"Okay, well I have to be back here friday for sure. I'm going to visit Izzy for the weekend."

"Oh, I didn't know that..."

"I'm sorry. I was going to see if Izzy would want to have you come with. But I kinda decided on my own that it may not be the best time."

"How so?"

"Well, this is the first time we will be hanging out since she left for school. So, I figured she would want it to just be us time."

"That makes sense. I guess I've had you every day for the past week... So, maybe I don't get to be selfish."

"Aw, look at you, so selfless." I said, kissing his cheek.

"My selfless act only gets a peck on the cheek?"

"What more do you want?"

"Well, a regular kiss would be nice."

"Greedy. Very gree-" Before I could finish he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "dy. Very greedy." I said before kissing him again, almost hungrily.

"I'm greedy am I?" He asked with a laugh. I shushed him and kissed him again. "Where's all of this coming from?"

"I don't know. Just feel like it. Is that a problem?"

"I'm not going to complain, but just wondering."

"I can stop."

"No- I mean, if you want to." I kissed him again, but only a peck.

"I have to pack. Maybe later."

"Fine..."

"Help me pick a dress. I have this one," I held up a pink, turtle neck, knee length dress. "Or, this one," which was a black sweater dress.

"Oh, you tempt me with the black... But the pink looks more you."

"I was actually feeling the black, but you're right. Pink it is."

I put a few other things into the suit case, including toiletries.

It was still a while to dinner time, so we both laid on my bed and watching a movie on my laptop.

"Did you think about wanting to do a youtube video?"

"I did. I don't feel like now is the time though. I don't know. Eventually, sure. But I decided that right now I'm working on so much about myself that I'm not ready to share that side of myself yet. If that makes sense... I don't know."

"That's very mature and makes a lot of sense."

"Okay... as long as I don't sound crazy..." He brushed the hair out of my face, which by the way, very cheesy. He kissed me. And the kiss slowly turned into making out. And the making out led to him leaning over me.

Which was fine. It was a grand old time. Until Brynna barged into my room.

"Oh come on, really?"

"Brynna get out," I said.

"You really shouldn't be doing that here."

"What? Kissing? Can you please get out? You're not supposed to come in without knocking anyways. And I really don't want to argue with you with Dan here."

"Anyways, it's dinner time..."

"Okay," I said as she shut the door. "Sorry."

"Would you like me to be honest?"

"About?"

"Yes or no?"

"Yes?"

"You are a bit harsh on her."

"How so?"

"She came to get us for dinner and it seemed she was only doing as she was told to do..."

"She's still supposed to knock..."

"I'm just being honest about what I see. And the only reason I see it is because I was the same way with my brother."

"So... me telling her to knock is me being mean?"

"No, I'm saying if she's coming for dinner, don't yell at her..."

"Okay..."

"You're not going to fight back about that?"

"Um... no? You make good points. Why would I argue if I'm wrong? You're right. I was a bit harsh. All day today actually. I instigated earlier."

"Wow, most girls-"

"I'm not most girls... this is the second time today you've said 'most girls'. I'm not most girls. Okay?" I said a bit angrily.

"Sorry. Habit."

"No... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have snapped at you... that's something so innocent and it pissed me off... I don't know what's wrong. Maybe I am just hangry..." I grabbed his hand and we went down stairs.

"You like holding hands, don't you?"

"Yes? Is that a problem?"

"No, just an observation."

"Good." We sat at the dinner table, ate dinner, and then Dan sat down and watched a movie with me, Brynna and Mum. Monsters Inc. Good movie. Best movie. Fave movie.

Then he went home. Which shouldn't have been a big deal. Because I'd be seeing him the next day. But I did miss him. It was a bit unhealthy how much I was really relying on him. I saw him every day. There wasn't a day that went by that we hadn't been in each others arms, and though that was only a week, it felt like so much longer. I don't know, I feel like since we'd only been together about a week, I shouldn't have been as attached to him as I was. It felt refreshing, though. To have someone I could be like that with.

I spent the rest of the night packing and reading. Which I hadn't done for a very long time. Very relaxing. Which I needed, because my nerves about the next day were very high. I was able to sleep fairly early that day as well, which was greatly needed.


End file.
